


Survivors

by crazywalls



Series: Thriller Verse [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Tattoos, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Art, Cop!Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Murder, Psychological Trauma, Thriller AU, artist!Cas, human!Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-04-04 10:53:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 35,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4134780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazywalls/pseuds/crazywalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas have to try to get back to normal while a ruthless killer is still on the loose and might come back to finish his work. In addition to that a murderer kills their victims in fucked up, ritualistic ways and someone has to stop them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back to normal?

**Author's Note:**

> Part three - and probably the last part - of my Supernatural Thriller AU. It isn't absolutely necessary to read part one but you should definitely have read part two because the story from part two is continued here.  
> Have fun reading it and as always I'm more than happy about comments and criticism :)

“Hey there.” Dean stepped into the small hospital room and gave Cas a warm smile as he closed the door behind him.

“Hey…” Castiel’s blue eyes met Dean’s as he looked up from the book in his hands. His soft smile didn’t quite reach his eyes and couldn’t hide the pain and fear in his features and like every time Dean visited Cas – which was practically every minute he didn’t spend working – Dean felt like someone had just punched him in the guts.

Ever since they’d found Cas and freed him he barely recognised his boyfriend. Dean had seen the change in survivors’ behaviour after getting out of violent, nearly deathly situations and Cas wasn’t an exceptional case. He looked haunted, flinched whenever something startled him and would shut everything out when something reminded him of his time in the abandoned house – not that he could ever forget about it.

He’d been in the hospital for over a week now because the doctors wanted to check on him regularly because of the blood loss and concussion. He was still healing from his encounter with Gordon Walker which would have inevitably resulted in his death if Dean and his team hadn’t found him in time.

Dean had hesitated to tell Cas that Walker was gone but he’d had to tell him eventually. Castiel’s face had gotten even paler and he’d looked like he’d throw up every second. Dean had assured him there would be an officer right outside 24/7 but it wasn’t enough to reassure him.

“What’re you reading today?” Dean asked and sat down on the edge of the bed right next to Cas, getting a look at the book’s cover before Cas put it on the night table next to his bed.

“Delacroix and Raphael.” Cas had stopped reading thrillers and was buried in a different book about art history or different artists nearly every day.

“I missed you,” the detective mumbled as he settled onto the mattress comfortably, his back leaning against the headboard, and took Cas’s hand into his. He hated being separated from Cas, being unable to take care of him and watch over him the whole time. Cas always said it was fine and told Dean to go to work, he’d be okay, but they both knew he was lying. He was terrified Walker might come back and finish what he’d started and as long as no one knew where he was there was nothing Dean could do to comfort him.

“Missed you, too.” Careful as to not move too sudden because of his healing ribs Cas moved closer, leaned against Dean and rested his head on his shoulder. They sat in silence for a while, each man lost in his own thoughts as Dean’s fingers drew invisible patterns on the other man’s hand.

Dean still wasn’t used to Cas’s new silentness. Before they had always had something to talk about but now neither of them was sure what to say. The detective in Dean knew it would take Cas a lot of time to get back to his former self – if he ever could – and he did everything in his power to help him recover but most of the time it seemed pointless.

Castiel’s quiet voice eventually broke the silence and caused Dean turned his head to look down at him, their faces only inches apart. “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for coming.”

Dean let go of Cas’s hand and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. “Hey, don’t thank me for that. You know I just can’t stay away from you.” A lopsided grin spread over his face and when Cas really smiled back for the first time in days Dean’s heart nearly missed a beat. It wasn’t his usual big, warm smile but Cas smiled rarely these days so Dean was happy about everything he could get.

This time, the silence between them wasn’t awkward as they looked at each other and Dean started to caress Cas’s cheek with his thumb. Noticing Cas glimpsing at his lips Dean slowly leaned closer, giving him enough time to draw back if he wanted but Cas didn’t. Instead he closed the space between them, lightly pressed his lips to Dean’s and gripped the lapel of his leather jacket.

The kiss was soft, sweet and for a moment it felt like everything was back to normal until Cas gave a low, pained groan as his ribs protested against the uncomfortable position.

Dean immediately leaned back to look at Cas worriedly. “Crap, I’m sorry, you okay?”

“Yes.” Cas tugged on Dean’s jacket lightly until the taller man moved closer again, not yet willing to stop. He sighed when Dean kissed him again, a bit more passionately this time.

The sound of the door opening startled them and a nurse walked in for the check-up, blushing when she realised what she had just interrupted.

“The doctor wants to talk to you, he will be here in a few minutes,” she said when she finished her examination. She left after another short glance over her shoulder and Dean grinned at Cas.

“Guess we gave her a little show, huh. Any idea what the doc wants?”

Cas shook his head and settled back against the headboard. “Gabriel was here again this morning,” he said after a moment. “I’ve never seen him this concerned before… And he’s furious that… that Walker is still out there somewhere.” The last part was barely more than a whisper.

“He’s not the only one. But we’ll find him, Cas, I promise. And he’s gonna pay,” Dean added grimly. If it were up to him it wouldn’t even come to Walker facing a judge.

He usually tried to avoid talking to Cas about anything that was related to Walker because he knew how upset and shaken Cas got. Getting his statement after the doctor had given his okay had been a torment for both of them and Dean had never left Castiel’s side the first two days.

The truth was that they had absolutely no clue where the killer was. His photo and a warning had been released in the whole state and every major police station in the US knew about him as well but Walker had just dropped off the radar.

The doctor’s entrance stopped the two men from getting lost in their dark thoughts for too long. Dean leaned against the window sill and watched as the doc – he somehow reminded Dean of Dr Sexy – talked to Cas. He only realised that his thoughts had drifted back to Walker when Cas’s shock-widened eyes made him focus on the conversation again.

“You mean you’re releasing me?”

“Yes. You should drop in for a check-up every two weeks but you can go home.”

With two steps Dean was standing next to Cas and laid his hand on his shoulder. “Wait, what?”

“We have no reason to keep him here, the healing process is going well and he should just take it easy at home for a while. And I’m sure you can take better care of him there, detective.” The doctor’s pager set off and he excused himself before hurrying out the door.

“You’re gonna be okay, Cas,” Dean mumbled what they both needed to hear and hugged Cas carefully.

The thought of being back home alone terrified Cas and he leaned against Dean, hands gripping the back of his jacket tightly. He’d never minded being on his own, never been one to be afraid easily but now it was different. He was different. There would be no one to take care of him, nothing to protect him and he didn’t know how to live with that knowledge.

“Hey, shh…” Dean ran a hand over Castiel’s back soothingly when he felt him tremble. “I’ll see if I can take a few days off, okay? We don’t have another case at the moment and I’m sure Bobby understands.” He hated seeing his boyfriend like this and swore again to make Walker pay. “Why don’t you pack your stuff while I call Bobby? Think you can do that?”

Cas nodded and hesitantly let go of Dean.

“Good. I’ll be right outside.”

***

An hour later Dean pulled up in front of their apartment building, got out and grabbed the bag from the backseat while Cas carefully got out of the Impala. Bobby had told him to take leave for a couple of days, if anything important came up he’d call.

Dean opened the front door and followed Cas up the stairs to their attic flat. He noticed Cas taking an uneasy look around and reached for his hand. “I’m here, nothing’s gonna happen to you.” Then he unlocked the door to their flat and checked every room to calm Cas down a bit. Of course nothing was out of place and after a few moments he seemed to relax a bit.

When Dean led Cas into the living room a faint smile lit the smaller man’s face. “You tidied up.”

“Yeah, had to keep my mind off things…” Dean shrugged and sat down on the sofa.

Cas looked around the room before joining the detective. “I think it hasn’t been that tidy since I moved in.”

Dean chuckled. “Probably. Even found some of your painting stuff in the bathroom and under the TV, no idea how it got there. And I came across a few really great sketches and tattoo designs. Actually thinking about getting one myself, what do you say?”

“I know a couple of good tattoo artists… Any idea what you want to get yet?”

“Thought so. No, absolutely none. But I thought you could help with that.” With a soft smile on his face Dean slid closer and lay his arm around Cas’s shoulders, making sure he didn’t hurt him or cross any lines. He knew he shouldn’t be seeing Cas as victim but he still wasn’t over the fact that he had nearly lost him. It would take him some time to get back to normal and stop being overprotective and he hoped Cas would eventually be his former self too. They still had a lot ahead of them.


	2. Nightmares

Dean woke abruptly when Cas tossed and turned and whimpered in his sleep. He rolled over and grabbed his boyfriend’s shoulder with one hand, shaking him lightly, the other hand cupping his face. “Whoa, hey, wake up… It’s alright, Cas, it’s alright.”

Cas jerked awake, dug his fingers in Dean’s biceps and stared up at him with wide eyes, gasping and still caught in the after-effects of his nightmare. Only when he realised where he was he let his head fall back in the pillow and groaned quietly.

“Hey, you’re safe, okay? I got you.” Dean sank back down next to Cas, pulled him close and wrapped himself around him, careful not to hurt his still sore body. In the past couple of days he’d discovered that this was the best way to calm Cas down when he woke in the middle of the night – sometimes several times – plagued by the memories of his abduction and twisted nightmares he never talked about.

His hands slowly ran over Cas’s back as Cas tucked his head under Dean’s chin, buried his face in the crook of his neck and clasped the back of Dean’s shirt. He was still trembling and Dean murmured soothing words in his hair, not even sure if Cas heard him.

Cas was aware that he was still gripping Dean’s shirt as hard as he could a couple of minutes later but he couldn’t bring himself to let go. Dean was the only one who could make him feel at least a little safe; he was the only thing that Cas really held on to and that kept him from completely hiding away from the world and eventually losing his mind.

Feeling tears sting in his eyes Cas bit his lip and tried to concentrate only on the here and now, on the warmth radiating from Dean’s body, the sound of his steady breath accompanied by the rise and fall of his chest and his familiar scent but it didn’t quite work.

Cas hated himself for being this fearful, being dead-tired because of his lack of sleep, absent-minded and downright paranoid, hated himself for cringing at the slightest sound, hated himself for not leaving the flat at all and avoiding any human interaction and company except for Dean’s. He hated himself for being helpless and afraid. For being reduced to this terrified version of his former self, unable to fight it. Unable to fight for himself. He hated himself for being victimized.

Gordon Walker had violently taken his normal life from him and left him with nothing but fear and despair. 

“Cas?” When Dean whispered his name he had no idea how much time had passed. He noticed Dean’s heartbeat speeding up slightly.

Not sure if his voice wouldn’t crack he just uttered, “Hm?”

“I love you.”

It took Cas a few seconds to comprehend what Dean had just said. Eventually he moved back a few inches and looked at Dean. He could just make out his features in the darkness.

“I mean, you know that, right?” Dean was staring back at him, an insecure look on his face.

A shy smile spread over Castiel’s face for a moment and his grip on Dean’s shirt diminished. Of course he knew – or at least he’d been pretty sure that was the case – but never before had Dean actually told him he loved him. He wasn’t exactly good at talking about his feelings and Cas was okay with it so this confession really caught him off guard.

“Are you, um…” Dean cleared his throat and started again. “Are you gonna say anything? ‘cause you know, this is a bit awkward…”

Cas finally released the fabric and ran his hand over Dean’s side to his chest. “I know. But why are you telling me this… now?” He was still baffled and for a moment everything else was forgotten.

“Just wanted to make sure you know. I’m always here for you. And you can talk about everything with me, okay? No matter what…”

“Okay.” Cas smiled at Dean and leaned forward while burying his fingers in Dean’s short hair and pulling his face closer. In the past days he had noticed that Dean was mostly hesitant to start any kind of physical contact and usually let Cas take the initiative and he was thankful for that because he just didn’t feel comfortable but right now he needed to feel Dean pressed against him. Their kiss soon became passionate, nearly desperate, and when Cas finally broke it both were panting.

Leaning his forehead against Cas’s, Dean closed his eyes and wrapped a hand around the back of the other man’s neck.

“I love you, too…” It was barely more than a breathless whisper but Cas knew Dean had heard it when he felt Dean’s lips on his again, softer this time.

“Try to get some sleep again, will ya?” Dean mumbled eventually as his hand wandered down Cas’s back and he settled into a more comfortable position. “I’m right here so if there’s anything just tell me, I’ll watch over you.”

Cas nodded and turned to lie on his back again to favor his ribs. He gave a soft sigh when he felt Dean’s arm splayed over his stomach and closed his eyes to drop off to restless sleep.

***

It was past noon when Cas finally got out of bed with a groan the next day. Sleep just didn’t offer the comfort it used to anymore and he felt tired and worn all the time.

Before he headed to the living room he took a quick shower and put on some sweatpants, a clean shirt and a hoodie. He had avoided to let Dean see any of his wounds and scars for the past two weeks and intended to keep it that way. His face had healed and the abrasions on his wrists were only visible as faint lines but the rest of his body still looked terrible. He’d keep the scars forever, Walker had marked him for the rest of his life.

Dean was sitting on the sofa and watching TV but turned around immediately when he noticed Cas enter. “Mornin’. You wanna eat something?”

With a shrug Cas sat down on the other end of the sofa. He was barely hungry anymore and didn’t feel like talking at the moment so he just stared blankly at the TV screen.

“Okay then… I’m gonna make you a cup of tea.” Dean got up and went to the kitchen. While he let the tea brew he leaned against the counter and ran a hand over his face. It apparently was one of the bad days – not that Cas had any good ones now – even though he had grabbed a shower and Dean was preparing himself for the hours of silence and trying to get Cas to at least eat something.

When he got back to the living room Cas was huddled on the sofa and stared at the wall. His expression was absent-minded and Dean had to carefully nudge him to get his attention.

Dean sat back down on the sofa and switched off the TV. He watched as Cas sipped the tea and clenched his teeth. This wasn’t the man he had gotten to know in the past nine months and it hurt to see him like this. After a moment he got up again and grabbed his laptop. There had to be some way to help Cas.

Cas wouldn’t talk about anything that had happened which wasn’t unusual for someone in his situation but he was also refusing to even go see the psychotherapist working with the police, refused to listen and much less talk to him. Dean wasn’t sure if it was something personal and Cas just didn’t like him but he’d do anything to get Cas to start dealing with everything that had happened. He spent half the day looking for shrinks and researching anything that might help Cas to open up.

A couple of hours later Dean stretched his back and went to the kitchen to make dinner. Cas had barely moved the whole day and hadn’t reacted to Dean’s question what he wanted to eat so he had decided to just make spaghetti. Cooking usually helped him taking his mind off things and he left the door to the living room and kitchen open. While the water started boiling and the minced meat sizzled in the pan he went back to the living room and turned on the stereo.

When the music started playing Dean saw Cas lift his head from the corner of his eye. The song was one of the ones Cas had been listening to a lot before the abduction and Dean immediately turned it off again before he looked over at Cas. “Sorry… You okay?”

To his surprise Cas glanced back at him and nodded. “Could you turn that on again?”

Dean stared at him in confusion, he hadn’t expected a reaction much less a whole sentence but he obliged. The music started playing again and Cas leaned back, resting his head on the backrest and staring at the ceiling. Watching his boyfriend closely to make sure he was okay Dean noticed the fingers of his right hand twitching to the rhythm of the music.

Suddenly he remembered the cooking food and hurried back into the kitchen. Thinking about Castiel’s reaction he prepared dinner and set plates and silverware on the table. Maybe this was a way to help him… It was definitely worth a shot.

The song was still playing and Dean listened to the lyrics with half an ear. He had absolutely no idea who it was from but the singer’s voice sounded familiar, probably one of the bands Cas listened to regularly. If Dean was being honest the chorus didn’t make much sense to him since the guy sang something about being immortals however not for long. He shrugged, as long as it didn’t trigger anything he would listen to whatever Cas liked. Deciding to take a look at his playlist later he drained off the water and put the noodles, sauce and meat on the plates before walking over to the living room and leaning over Cas.

“Dinner’s ready, you comin’?”

Cas gave a short nod and got up to follow Dean into the kitchen. Even though he didn’t say anything he seemed to be more present than the whole day and even started eating a bit.

Dean quietly chewed and gave Cas some time before he started speaking. This might be the only opportunity to get through to him.

“Y’know, I’ve been thinking. I know you don’t wanna talk about it and I understand that.” He was glad that Cas actually looked up and indicated he was listening even though the guardedness in his eyes made it hard for Dean to talk about his plans.

“But I thought we could look for someone you might feel more comfortable with than our police psychotherapist,” he continued and watched Cas closely. “We could make an appointment with someone and go there together. You don’t have to go through this on your own, you know.” He reached over the table and lay his hand over Cas’s. “There are people that can help you.”

Cas stared back at him and swallowed before looking away. “I don’t want to go outside and see someone…” he mumbled quietly, pulled his hand away and picked at his food for a few seconds before putting the fork down and getting up. The thought of getting out and having to talk to someone obviously frightened him.

When Cas turned to leave the kitchen Dean stood and reached for him but didn’t dare to actually touch Cas. “Wait, please… We don’t need to do that, okay? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up… C’mon, sit down and eat again, ‘kay?”

“I’m not hungry,” was all Cas muttered before heading to the bedroom and closing the door behind him.

Dean leaned against the wall and let his head thump back against it. “Fuck!” So much for getting Cas out and making some progress. He needed a different plan.

***

With every day that passed Cas seemed to withdraw back into himself even more. He barely reacted to anything Dean said or did, didn’t seem to care about the music he played and when Dean woke him in the middle of the night to pull him out of his nightmares he just lay curled up against him, shaking and grasping his shirt.

On Thursday morning Dean was reading the newspaper while Cas still lay in bed where he’d left him. He came across an article and halted. Why the hell hadn’t he thought of that earlier?

Dialling a number on his phone he grabbed his laptop and booted it up. After five rings his partner picked up. “Hey Benny, you got some time? I need a favour.”

“I guess I can take off for an hour or two. You gonna tell me what this is about?”

In short words Dean explained why he was calling while opening the browser and clicking through a few pages.

“You sure that’s a good idea? I mean if you really wanna do it I’m in but…”

“I need to try it, Benny. That’s the only thing I can think of that might work.”

Benny sighed. “Alright, fine. I’ll meet you in an hour, okay?”

“Thanks, man. I owe you.” Dean hung up and went to the bedroom. He quietly opened the door and snuck into the semi-dark room to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Cas, I know you’re not sleeping. Look at me, will ya?” he pleaded.

After a moment Cas turned his head and opened his eyes to look up into green ones full of worry and… determination?

“Listen, I want you to get up, take a shower and get dressed. Don’t stay in bed the whole day again, okay?”

Cas squinted at Dean. He knew his boyfriend well enough to see there was something he didn’t tell him but eventually he gave in and sat up.

Dean got up and went to the door. “If you need anything just call, yeah?”

He nearly missed the soft nod Cas gave as he left the room to give him some space. Knowing that Cas now hated being in the same room as Dean when he undressed or changed Dean went to the kitchen, poured himself a glass of coke and paced through the room while he heard the bathroom door being locked and the shower start.

Ten minutes later Cas walked into the kitchen, hands buried in the pockets of his hoodie and staring at the ground.

Dean crossed the distance between them and made Cas look up at him by carefully lifting his head. “Would you put on some jeans?”

Wide eyes stared into his and he noticed how Cas clenched his teeth, realising that Dean wanted him to go outside. Before he could turn around and lock himself in the bedroom Dean reached for his hands and held him in place. 

“Give me a minute to explain. Just listen to me, okay? There’s an exhibition at the museum. Romantic paintings including Turner, Friedrich, this Delacroix guy and Gér… I have no idea how to pronounce his name, y’know, that dude with the raft painting. I want to go there with you. You’ll be safe, I promise. I called Benny, he’s going to come with us, that makes two armed cops. Would you do that for me? Please?” Dean looked at Cas full of hope. If this didn’t work he didn’t know what would.

He could see the struggle in Castiel’s eyes and gave him time to make a decision. Finally Cas dropped his head and gave another short nod.

“You sure you will be okay?”

“You’ll be there and make sure that nothing happens, right?” Cas asked quietly.

“Of course. And if there’s anything scaring you we’ll leave immediately.”

“Alright.” When Cas met Dean’s eyes Dean could see the fear in his features despite the tiny smile on his face. “Is it supposed to be good?”

“It has great reviews. I’m sure you’ll like it. You gonna change so we can go?”

“Yes.” Before he turned Cas lightly squeezed Dean’s hand and managed another uncertain smile.

“I hope this is gonna work…” Dean mumbled to himself as he waited for Cas to get ready. He just wanted this nightmare to end.


	3. A Decision

With every mile they got closer to the museum Cas became more anxious. When Dean finally found a parking spot across the street Cas looked sick and the thought that this might be a terrible ides crossed Dean’s mind.

“You wanna go back? No one will blame you if you don’t wanna go in there.”

Cas shook his head and reached for the door handle, his knuckles white as he gripped it tightly.

Dean got out first and went over to the passenger side. He had told Cas he wouldn’t leave his side for a single second and took his hand to intertwine their fingers as he closed the car door.

“You’re gonna be safe in there, I promise. There’s security everywhere and Benny and I are always with you. You ready?”

After taking a deep breath Cas mumbled a “yes” and started towards the entrance, pulling Dean with him. Even though he trusted his boyfriend he was terrified. It was too loud, too hectic, there were too many people and too many places to hide. Of course Cas was aware that Walker was long gone from the city in all likelihood, probably in another state, but it still cost him all the courage he could work up not to turn around, go to the Impala and get back home to hide from the world. Spotting Benny near the front of the huge modern building didn’t ease his fears the slightest, neither did the fact that he knew he was being paranoid; the danger felt too real.

“Hey, I got you, okay? I’m right here.” Dean caressed the back of Cas’s hand with his thumb and smiled at Benny as they got closer. “Thanks for coming.”

“Are you kiddin’, I wouldn’t miss this exhibition.” Benny smirked at his partner before turning to Cas with a warm smile. “Hey there. You good to go?”

Nodding, Castiel braced himself. He’d noticed Dean looking around since they’d gotten out of the car, making sure there wasn’t any threat, and it made him relax a bit.

“Good, ‘cause y’know, I read those ship and sea paintings by Turner are supposed to be pretty good. And they even got some stuff from French and German artists…”

Dean listened to Benny’s chatter, a bit surprised since his partner usually wasn’t a man of many words but his talk and the questions he asked Cas now and then as they waited in line to get their tickets had the hoped-for effect, Cas finally calmed down a little. 

It was clear to the artist that Benny knew nothing about Romanticism – or art in general, for that matter – but he didn’t mind explaining the genre to him as well as answering all his questions. If he was being honest he even started enjoying the normal conversation despite his racing heart and the occasional worried looks through the crowd. It was the first time since he’d been brought to the hospital that someone talked to him like he was just like everybody else, not a victim, a survivor of horrible events.

A couple of minutes later they had their tickets and wandered through the halls of the museum, stopping in front of the one or other painting on their way to the special exhibition. When Dean noticed that Cas’s death grip on his hand slowly loosened he gave a small sigh of relief; this had to be a good sign. So far his plan seemed to actually work and he hoped that nothing unforeseen or unsettling would happen.

Eventually the three men reached the halls with Romantic paintings and slowly wandered through them amongst groups of school children, pensioners and art students. With every passing minute Cas unbent more and occasionally pointed out details in the paintings, told them about the work’s or artist’s backgrounds, was completely lost in the paintings and seemed confident for the first time in weeks.

Only when he sensed someone watching him he was brought back to the here and now and froze. Dean immediately noticed the change and looked from Cas through the room and back. “What’s goin’ on?”

Cas turned, his eyes searching the crowd and eventually stopping on a group of giggling elementary school kids who stared back at him, whispering to each other and paying no attention to the paintings. He let out a slow breath and calmed himself. “Nothing, it’s fine.”

“You sure?” Dean asked and pulled him closer, their fingers still interlaced as he looked down at Cas with worry.

“Yes, I’m good. Really,” Cas reassured him.

A tug on his sleeve startled and belied him but when he looked to his other side there was no reason to worry. One of the pupils, a small boy about seven or eight, was staring up at him with big hazel eyes.

Managing a smile, Cas glanced over to the group of children that were now gazing at him and the boy. “Um, hi…” 

“Is that your husband?” the kid asked outright, pointing at Dean who was eyeing him.

“What?” Cas replied perplexedly and looked from Dean to Benny who seemed just as confused and back to the boy.

“Is he your husband? Because you’re holding hands.” He glanced back to the other children who apparently were waiting for an answer as well.

“Uh, no, he’s my boyfriend.”

“So boys can have boyfriends, too?”

Dean smiled at the boy. “Absolutely.”

The kid spun around to look at his friends and exclaimed excitedly, “See! I told you!”

Grinning at Cas, Dean leaned down to the boy. “And who knows, maybe he’ll marry me someday. I think he’d look really handsome in a suit, what do you say?”

Eyeing Cas, the boy nodded slowly and a smile spread over his face. “Yes, he’s already very pretty.”

“I know, right? You know what else is pretty? Those paintings over there, you should check them out with your friends.” Dean smiled and winked at the kid then turned to Cas when the boy hurried back to his class. Noticing the light blush that had crept over Castiel’s face Dean’s smile widened even more. “I think we just made that kid’s day.”

Smiling back, Cas nodded and glanced at the group of children again. They stared back and some of them chuckled as Dean pulled him closer. Cas turned to face Dean again, realising how close he was, and suddenly felt his boyfriend’s lips pressed against his own.

“Ewww!” “Stop!” “Yuck!”

Cas broke the kiss when he heard the children’s yells and looked around in embarrassment. “I think we shouldn’t…”

“They’re kids, Cas, they always think it’s disgusting when people kiss.” Dean smirked and squeezed Castiel’s hand lightly. “You good?”

“Yes, I’m good.”

“If you guys are done now we could go to the other room and look at those paintings by Turner,” Benny cut in with a grin on his face.

“Sure.” Dean shrugged and followed his partner, pulling Cas with him to continue their stroll through the museum.

They had just entered the third room of the special exhibition half an hour later when Benny’s cell phone rang. He took a few steps and answered the call. While he listened his expression became grim and he said a few words before hanging up and walking back to Dean and Cas. “The precinct just called, a body was found and I need to go. You two gonna be okay?”

Cas nodded. “Thank you for coming with us, I really appreciate it.”

“It was a pleasure.” Benny grinned, nodded at Dean and turned to leave as his partner looked after him.

***

After convincing Cas to stop for some food on the way home they arrived at their flat in the early evening. Watching Cas closely the whole day Dean was quite certain he was alright but when Cas quietly settled on the sofa next to him he still asked, “So how’re you feelin’? Everything okay?”

Cas kept quiet for a few moments, gazing into space before meeting Dean’s eyes with a serious look on his face. “No… not everything’s okay.”

“What do you mean?” Dean raised his brows in genuine concern.

“This… this isn’t working, Dean. We can barely talk to each other and… and I know that it’s mostly my fault because I… I don’t want to talk. And let’s be honest, we also don’t have anything to say to each other because you are here the whole time and nothing happens in your life. It’s just, I… I can’t take this anymore.”

Staring at Cas with wide eyes fear clawed its way into Dean’s chest and he swallowed and clenched his teeth. This couldn’t be over.

Cas gave a quiet sigh and stared down at his hands. “I just can’t go on living this way. We both need to do something… You see, Benny treated me like any other person. I haven’t felt this normal in weeks. I know you mean well but… you need to stop acting like I’m going to break every second. But you’re also right, I… I need to start dealing with everything. It’s just not working this way. Nothing is.” Finally he looked up. “Dean, I want my life back.”


	4. We'll be alright

“I can’t stay here forever and rot. I want my life to get back to how it used to be before.” Castiel’s voice was barely more than a whisper but steady although Dean could detect a light tremble in his body.

“Before Walker or before you met me?” Dean asked quietly. He wasn’t sure he really wanted to know the answer.

Cas shrugged and looked away, clenching his hands to fists in his lap. “I just want to be okay again. I… I hate this version of myself and I need to do something about it.”

“Alright, we can do that. We’ll get through this together, okay? I’m right here with you.” Dean cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the lump there. “And you’re right, I need to stop being this overprotective. Just… I’m here, okay?”

“I know. But I think I need some space…” Fumbling with the hem of his shirt, Cas mumbled the words. He knew he couldn’t move on if Dean kept treating him with kid gloves and was constantly around him.

“So… what do you want me to do? You want me to go back to work? To get help with you? Or…” Trailing off, Dean didn’t want to put the other options into words.

“You said you looked for shrinks, right?” He waited for Dean’s nod before continuing. “I will start seeing one. And you should really start working again.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay on your own? I’m sure I could get an officer to watch the flat and you for a few more days.”

“I’ll be alright… I hope. Benny said something about a dead body so this is the perfect time for you to get back to work. But I don’t want anyone to sit outside the whole day.”

Dean gave a small sigh, he hated the thought of leaving Cas all alone. “Then at least let me tell the patrol to drive by occasionally.”

“Fine.” Cas nodded in agreement. He was acting much more confident than he actually felt but he figured this was a first step to recovery.

“You want me to help you find someone and make an appointment?”

Shaking his head Cas replied, “I can handle that by myself. You should call your boss and talk to him about getting back. Mind if I use your laptop to look at the websites?”

“Not at all. I bookmarked them.” Dean got up and handed Cas his laptop from the coffee table. Noticing how hesitant Cas still was he wondered if they were taking things too fast but he presumed it was normal after all Cas had been through. He was relieved that his boyfriend had decided to do something and start dealing with everything, most survivors needed much more time to take this first step. Relieved that Cas wanted to move on and fight to get his life back.

He just hoped it would still include him.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, the detective walked to the bedroom to get some privacy and call Bobby.

His superior answered after a few rings. “Hey boy, what’s up? Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just calling because I was thinking about coming back in the next few days.”

“Sure, you can start tomorrow, Benny needs you back. There’s been a murder so I’ll have himm send you everything you need to know to be up to date.”

“Got it. Hey Bobby,” he added, “do you have anything new on Walker?” He hadn’t wanted to ask Benny in front of Cas earlier but he needed to know.

“No, I’m sorry, boy. Everyone’s still on the look-out but so far there’s no sign of him. We have absolutely no idea where he is and if he’s even still in the US but we’re quite certain he isn’t in the city anymore.” Dean heard the sympathy in his friend’s voice. “You need someone to check on Castiel when you’re on the job? We could arrange that someone drives by now and then or something.”

“Yeah, that’d be good. I just want him to feel safe enough to stay at home by himself.”

“You know I don’t really know him well but he seems like a tough guy, I’m sure he’ll get through it and can move on.”

“I really hope so… Thanks, Bobby. See you tomorrow,” Dean said and ended the call, then went to the kitchen to get two beers before walking back to the living room.

“You want one?” he asked and held a beer out to Cas who was engrossed in some kind of website and only looked up when Dean said his name.

“Uh, sure, thanks.” Cas accepted the bottle and took a small sip, turning his attention back to the computer screen.

Not wanting to interrupt Cas Dean sat down on the other end of the sofa and searched for any news on the dead body on his mobile phone but word apparently hadn’t gotten out yet so he waited for Benny’s mail while checking for any new articles on Walker.

“She looks nice, don’t you think?” Cas interrupted Dean’s research and turned the laptop so he could see the screen. The photo of a woman of Asian background in her late 40s dominated a plain website. The psychotherapist’s name was Linda Tran and the website seemed very professional.

“Yeah, I remember her, she has great credentials and is specialised in trauma victims, right? Wanna give her a call and make an appointment or are you going to look for others first?”

“I’ll call her tomorrow.” It wasn’t too late to call right then but Cas was exhausted by the events of the day and needed some time for himself. He set the laptop aside, got up and picked up the book he was currently reading to finish it in the bedroom.

“Hey, Cas, before you go, I’ll be back to work tomorrow. We have a case.”

“Good.” Cas smiled faintly before walking out the door and leaving Dean sitting in the living room, alone with his thoughts and worries. This would be long and hard journey but he hoped for the best.

***

The next day Cas called Dr Tran while Dean was at work and surprisingly got an appointment for the day after because someone apparently had cancelled theirs. After he’d hung up he sat in the kitchen, thinking about what to do now. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to deal with the things Walker had done to him much less talk about them but he was determined to at least give it a try.

Eventually he gave his brother a call but only got the answering machine. He left a message asking if Gabriel wanted to come over sometime and hung up again. The flat’s silence made him uncomfortable so he turned on some music and sat down on his desk, looking through his sketches and the still unfinished illustrations for a children’s book. He’d have to talk to the author and editor to figure out what they’d do about it but he definitely wasn’t in the mood to face up to that now.

Instead he pulled out a blank piece of paper and started sketching absentmindedly. Art used to help him unwind and get his mind off his problems and it actually seemed to work for a while. When he glanced up at the clock he realised how time had flown by without him noticing while listening to music and drawing strong lines on the paper. He leaned back and turned to eye the drawing. What he saw caused him to wince. The scenery he’d drawn had an unmistakable similarity to the room of the old house he’d been held captive in.

He pushed his chair back so fast that it fell, got up and stumbled backwards, away from the table, trying to comprehend how he could’ve been so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed what he was drawing. The abduction and torture were haunting him nearly every minute of his life but this was a new low. He stumbled into the bedroom – the furthest he could go from the living room without leaving the flat because he definitely would not go outside alone now – and huddled down on the bed, burying his face in his hands. He was desperate, it seemed like he was never getting better and he was only kidding himself.

***

Dean was welcomed back by his colleagues with a few encouraging words before everyone went back to working their cases. He’d gone through the file Benny had sent him the night before, they barely had any information.

The murder victim was a young male with blond hair and the first look at the crime scene photos had made Dean flinch. Parts of a rope were still slung around his neck and knotted with a slipknot, his shirt was ripped open and a long cut allowed the beholder an insight in the man’s empty abdominal cavity. The shallow cuts on the corpse’s arms and legs had a strange symmetry and created a complicated pattern.

“Why do we get all the sick fucks?” Benn grumbled as he sat down on his desk opposite of Dean’s. “Shoulda seen the crime scene, a complete mess.” The body had been found in a clearing deep in a forest in the middle of five dead bonfires, nearly completely gutted, and forensics had found burned remnants of his organs in the fires. Wild animals of course hadn’t missed the opportunity of a feast as well and the corpse showed traces of different teeth, some of the body’s fingers were missing and one of his ears had been gnawed off.

“That’s really some creepy shit,” Dean agreed as he was entering information and keywords into ViCAP, the FBI’s database for violent crimes. He was looking for any crimes with similar MO while Benny was looking through the missing persons files. The autopsy was scheduled for the early evening and Benny was going to attend it, he’d told Dean he needn’t stay that long and should rather go home early to check on Cas. Dean wasn’t going to argue, he was still incredibly worried about his boyfriend and was trying hard to concentrate on his task and not call Cas.

***

When Dean got back and opened the door to his flat in the evening after a whole day of working to no avail he heard Cas’s music playing. He hung his jacket away and went straight to the living room where he expected to find Cas. When he didn’t see him but noticed the fallen chair he got worried. Turning off the music and calling for his boyfriend he went to the kitchen and then checked the bathroom. Finally he opened the bedroom door and found Cas huddled on the bed under covers and pillows, clearly distraught.

“Crap, Cas, what’s wrong?” He hurried over to the bed and kneeled down, pulling the covers back.

Cas stared up at Dean with wide eyes but didn’t react otherwise. Dean moved closer and pulled Cas in his arms. “I’m here, it’s okay… Why didn’t you call me?”

Shrugging Cas leaned against Dean and closed his eyes. “Didn’t want to bug you…”

“Cas, if there’s anything, no matter if you’re scared or just wanna talk, I want you to call me, okay? Please, you’re not bugging me at all.” Dean leaned back to look at Cas and cupped his face with his hands. “Don’t you ever think that.”

Cas gave a nod and looked down.

“How long have you been in here? Wanna talk about what happened?”

“I don’t know, half an hour maybe. And no… but you can look at the desk...” Hoping Dean would stay with him for a while and not see the drawing and want to talk about it Cas hugged his boyfriend and rested his head on his shoulder.

“You sure I should go to work and leave you here all by yourself?”

“I’m going to see Dr Tran tomorrow so there’s no point in you staying here. Besides, you have a case, don’t you?” Cas looked up at Dean. He was relieved that the detective was back home, he had waited impatiently and jumped at every unfamiliar sound.

“I do. You already have an appointment tomorrow?”

“Yes, she will see me tomorrow noon. I’ll call a taxi so you don’t have to go with me.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Dean asked worriedly.

Cas met Dean’s eyes. “I want to go there alone,” he replied decisively.

“Alright. But promise you’ll call if you want me to pick you up.”

“I promise,” Cas said and shifted when his stomach started to growl.

“Have you even eaten anything today?”

“I had breakfast.”

Dean moved back and got up, reaching out his hand for Cas. “Come on, let’s make dinner. What do you want?”

Cas took the proffered hand and let Dean pull him up. “Don’t know, pizza or Asian takeaway?” 

“I want to cook for you. What about roasted noodles, chicken and veggies? You really need to eat something a bit healthier.” That coming from you, Winchester, ha…

“Sounds good.” He smiled at Dean and followed him to the kitchen. “You know, I used to have to remind you to eat. Now it’s the other way round…”

“We’ll get back to how it used to be and you’ll be so annoyed by my eating habits, got that?” Dean gave Cas a reassuring smile and walked to the cabinet to get the noodles while Cas sat down on the table. As the water started boiling Dean sliced the vegetables and put the meat in the pan. Soon he was completely busy with cooking and humming Metallica to himself as Cas watched. Dean stopped for a moment to walk over to Cas, lean down and give him a brief kiss. “Why don’t you set the table?”

Cas nodded, stood up and got the plates and some chopsticks. Dean’s presence helped him to calm down again and the way they interacted seemed so normal Cas couldn’t help smiling lightly. When Dean noticed it he winked at him and reached for his hand to pull him close and kiss him again. “We’ll be alright, okay?”


	5. Appointments, Rituals and a Hangman

Cas wasn’t so sure that they’d really be alright. The night had been horrible, his nightmares had seemed even more vivid than usually and he’d awoken screaming. It had taken Dean nearly two hours of holding him and mumbling soothing words to calm him down. The detective hadn’t wanted to leave for work in the morning but after Cas had finally gotten out of bed he had been able to convince Dean to go.

He was still shaken as he made himself PB&J for breakfast and looked for a new book to read. He glanced at the book shelf with his thrillers longingly but knew it was a terrible idea so he grabbed another anthology about an artist and went to the sofa to read while eating.

The ringing of the phone caused him to wince and he just stared at it for a moment before slowly getting up and checking the screen. It was Gabriel.

“Hey, bro!” Even though his older brother tried hard to sound normal he definitely wasn’t as cheerful as usually. “You wanted me to call you back?”

“Hello Gabriel. I was, uh, wondering if you want to come over sometime…” Cas didn’t even care that he and Gabriel barely had any common interests to talk about, he just needed some company and hoped for his brother’s chatter to distract him for a while.

“Um, yeah, sure. I got some time right now if you want.”

“I have… an appointment in a little over an hour but what about after that?”

“What kind of appointment?” Gabriel asked, obviously baffled.

Cas hesitated uncomfortably. “I’m going to see a psychotherapist. So, uh, do you want to meet after that?”

“You’re seeing a shrink? That’s great, Cas!” The artist heard sincere delight and relief in his brother’s voice. “Is Dean going with you?”

“No, I wanted to go alone.”

“Okay… Well, why don’t I pick you up afterwards to bring you home?” 

“That sounds nice,” Cas replied mechanically and gave Gabriel the address before ending the call.

He finished his sandwich before taking a shower and getting dressed. After calling himself a cab he waited nervously while pacing through the flat, wondering how the appointment would go, what Dr Tran was like and if he’d be able to pull it through. Even the thought of having to talk to anyone ever again about what had happened to him made him panic but he tried to calm himself down by taking slow breaths. He wanted to talk to Dean, just hear his voice and even though Dean had told him to call him no matter what he didn’t.

He was going to get through this on his own.

When the taxi driver rang the bell he nearly jumped. “It’s alright…” he muttered to himself, put on his trench coat and left the flat. His hands were shaking lightly as he locked the door and walked down the stairs. He hadn’t been outside all alone since he’d been rescued so this was another first but he was determined to prove to himself – and to Dean – that he could do it. That he could recover.

Taking another deep breath he opened the front door and stepped out on the street. He eyed the driver and the car for a moment to reassure himself everything was fine before he finally got in and gave him the address.

As the taxi headed towards Dr Tran’s office Cas noticed he was clenching his hands into fists and forced himself to relax them while he tried not to think about what was ahead of him but understandably failed miserably.

What would the doctor think of him? Did she know who he was? After all the newspapers had been full of articles about his abduction. What if he wouldn’t get out a word? Or worse, what if he just broke down in front of her?

He was about to tell the driver to just turn around and drive him back when he stopped in front of a plain white house with a neat little front yard and a classy sign next to the front door telling him he had reached his destination. “This is it” Cas heard the driver say.

Gathering all his courage he paid the man, got out of the taxi and took the few steps through the yard and up the stairs. In front of the door he wiped his clammy hands on his coat and hesitated. He could do it he told himself and slowly reached for the doorbell. It gave a melodic sound and a moment later Cas could hear footsteps inside the house.

A young woman, probably the therapist’s assistant, opened the door, walked him in and showed him where to sit while asking him if he wanted anything to drink. Cas declined and sat down.

He was a couple of minutes early and took a look around. The anteroom was just as plain as the house’s front, a light grey, fashionable sofa, a metallic floor lamp and a white end table with magazines on it where the only pieces of furniture.

Just as he was about to reach for one of the magazines Cas heard soft, melancholic sounds from somewhere above. He looked up and listened but before he could figure out which instrument he was hearing a door to his left opened and a guy came out of the room, passed him and said goodbye to the secretary before leaving.

A few seconds later a small woman appeared in the door and smiled at him as he got up. She introduced herself as Linda Tran, shook his hand and asked him in. Her handshake was firm and warm and she radiated calmness and trustworthiness. Cas followed her into the adjacent room and closed the door behind him.

“Please, sit down.” She smiled up at him again, took a note pad and a pen from the desk and took a seat in an armchair.

Castiel obliged and sat down on the small sofa opposite of her as his eyes took in the comfortably but also plainly furnished room. He shifted nervously as Dr Tran took a few notes before looking up at him while somewhere in the house the soft music kept on playing. “Why don’t you tell me something about yourself first?”

“Uh…” He thought for a moment then hesitantly started telling her about his job. His nervousness didn‘t wear off but he definitely liked her a lot more than the police psychotherapist. She asked a couple of specific questions about his free time, his hobbies, family and his relationship.

He swallowed and looked down at his hands that were clenched in his lap. Quietly he started telling her about the situation at home and how Dean’s overprotectiveness sometimes made him feel even more terrible about himself. He told her about the visit at the museum, what it had felt like when Benny had talked to him like a normal person and how he’d told Dean he wanted him to go back to work and decided to make this appointment.

“It’s not that I don’t love Dean but he… it feels like he’s crushing me. I don’t think I can move on like this, that’s why I want him to work again and not be at home with me the whole time.” His voice was quiet and trembling, he barely got the words out.

Dr Tran nodded. “I understand. You are in a very difficult situation right now and this is an important first step. I know this is very scary but you are going in the right direction.”

Cas looked up and tried to give a faint smile. “It’s terrifying…”

“I know but you are doing great so far. Do you think you can tell me a little about what happened to you?” Her calm, friendly voice was followed by the same quiet, melancholic notes he’d heard earlier. She didn’t even seem to notice them but they somehow had a soothing effect on Cas. He composed himself for a few moments, only concentrating on the sad music, and then started speaking again.

He slowly told her about his abduction in emotionless, whispered words, taking a few short breaks to pull himself together, and stared at his hands, feeling like he was in some kind of trance, he suddenly couldn’t stop anymore. It was like someone else was telling this story which didn’t even seem to be his, it felt like he was listening to another man’s fear and torment, as if he was only an objective spectator and none of this had happened to him. When he finally finished he buried his face in his hands and realised he was shaking as he bit back a sob.

He had done it. He hadn’t broken down. Sure, he was a shivering, exhausted, fucked up mess but he had managed to talk about Walker, about the torture and his terror.

Dr Tran carefully asked him a few more questions and took a couple of notes. When the time was up she stood and shook his hand. “I would like to see you again. Think about it and give my secretary a call.”

With a smile she opened the door and walked him out. The music was still playing and it was a little louder in the hallway.

“What is that? The music?” Cas asked her. He was sure he hadn’t started imagining things.

“Oh, that’s my son. He plays the cello but I have to say I don’t know which musical piece that is.”

“It’s beautiful, he’s really good.” He gave a soft, insecure smile and looked around awkwardly.

“He is.” She smiled back at him. “I hope you will decide to come see me again, I’m sure we can work on this together. But you can already be very proud of yourself for working up the courage to come and talk to me today.”

“Thank you.” He turned around towards the door and flinched as he saw a boy standing right in front of him.

The kid, probably 17 or 18 years old, stared up at him with wide eyes and uttered a shy “I’m sorry…” He must have had sneaked down the stairs quietly while Dr Tran had talked to him.

“Kevin, is everything alright?” she asked the boy.

“Uh, yes, mom, just wanted to talk to you if you have a moment.” He glanced at Cas and looked back at his mother.

“Sure, I’ll be right there.” She turned to Cas and saw him out. “It was a pleasure meeting you,” she said and Cas automatically asked himself if she said that to everyone.

He buried his cold, still shaking hands in the pockets of his trench coat, walked down the steps and onto the walkway to look for his brother.

“Hey, bro!” Gabriel’s voice came from his left. “You okay?”

Cas saw him, met him halfway and nodded. He probably still looked really shaken but it hadn’t been as horrible as he’d expected – not that he’d really like to talk about it again – and he’d managed to calm down a bit.

“Good, good. You hungry? We can get some food, go back to your flat and just, I don’t know, watch some porn,” his older brother suggested casually.

Shaking his head Cas couldn’t hide a soft smile. “You are incredible. But food sounds good.”

“Well, I made you smile.” Gabriel grinned, nudged him in the side and headed to his car.

***

The small team working the strange murder – aka Benny, Dean and Jo – were looking into everything they had so far. Benny had briefly told them about the autopsy’s results. The poor guy had been hanged before someone had gutted him.

“At least he had a quick death and didn’t feel much,” Tessa, the coroner, had said. “Whoever did this was probably a pro, his neck just snapped. It’s actually quite hard to hang someone or oneself this way, many people suffocate. To guarantee that the neck just breaks you need to calculate weight and drop height, tie the right knot and lay the noose beneath and behind the – usually – left ear,” she had explained.

“So we’re looking for a hangman with a fetish for ritual-looking murder?” Dean muttered when Benny had finished summing up the first results. The tox screen would take a while.

Jo looked up at him with a raised brow. “You think this guy wanted it to look like something ritual? Why?”

Dean shrugged, it was more a feeling than anything. “The corpse lay exactly in the middle of five bonfires. If you connected them you’d get a perfect pentagram. Plus the cuts on his skin… they look weird and I think the pattern is intentional. You wouldn’t necessarily torture someone like this,” he added and tried not to think about Cas. “Besides, why else would anyone burn his organs? Could be some kind of fire sacrifice.” He shrugged. Maybe some nutcase thought he could actually summon demons or whatever.

“Hmm… That actually makes sense in some twisted kind of way, why don’t you look into it and get into that topic?” Benny suggested. “Harvelle, see if you can find any ritual murders or serial hangings with broken necks and cuts. Maybe there’s something in ViCAP this time. I’ll see if forensics found anything to identify the victim.”


	6. Family Time and Murder

When Dean got home that night he found Cas and Gabriel in front of the TV. Gabe looked incredibly thankful for being saved from yet another documentary but being the “awesome big brother” he was – his words, even though Cas had to admit he was very grateful for the company – he’d been determined to stay with Cas until Dean came back.

Dean walked over to the brothers, leaned down and pecked Cas on the cheek. “Hey there.” He smiled at Gabriel. “What’re you guys watching?”

“I have no idea,” Gabe muttered and looked up at Dean with an exaggeratedly pained expression on his face. “You wanna trade places?”

“Sure. It’s pretty late, I guess you should go home.” 

Gabriel got up, lay his hand on Castiel’s shoulder for a moment and Cas hadn’t seen his brother this considerate and caring in years. “If there’s anything I can do just call.”

“I will.” Cas stood and gave him an awkward hug then walked him to the door and said goodbye.

In the meantime Dean had slouched on the sofa and waited for Cas to come back while listening to the TV with half an ear. As his boyfriend walked back to him and sat down on the other end of the sofa Dean eyed him closely. Cas still looked shaken and quite absentminded but other than that more or less okay.

“How’re you feeling?” His voice was quiet and calm as the detective scooted closer and carefully pulled Cas between his legs so the smaller man could lean his back against Dean’s chest.

Shrugging Cas rested his head against Dean’s shoulder. “I’m not sure… Tired mostly. And somehow numb…”

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and pressed a kiss to his temple. “So you went to see Dr Tran?”

“Mhm.” Castiel closed his eyes. “She seemed nice. And competent.”

“Wanna talk about the appointment?”

“Not now,” he mumbled tiredly. “But I think I’ll see her again.”

Dean was relieved and smiled. “That’s great. Did you already eat?”

“Yes, Gabriel and I had pizza, there’s some for you in the kitchen.” Cas yawned.

“I’ll have some later.” Dean’s hands slowly traced over Cas’s arms then he intertwined their fingers. “You wanna go to sleep?”

“I don’t know, don’t really wanna get up or move… Just stay here a little longer.”

“Alright.” The detective smiled as Cas made himself a little more comfortable and slowly dozed off.

***

Jo’s ViCAP search hadn’t produced any results and neither had Benny’s research about the victim, they still didn’t have a name, nor had interviewing the guys who’d found the body: nobody knew anything.

Dean had called Sam to meet him at the local library. His little brother had been surprised Dean wanted to meet there but the older Winchester had been clever enough not to tell Sam he wanted his help with research. He’d figured Sam had to be pretty good at research, after all he hadn’t gone to Stanford for nothing, plus he saw his brother not nearly often enough.

Just when he’d parked his car and gotten out he spotted Sam pulling into the lot, looking for a parking spot. Dean waited, leaned against the Impala, and grinned at his little brother. “Heya, Sammy,” he greeted when Sam got out and walked towards him.

“It’s Sam,” his brother said with a sigh but smiled at him the next second. “You going to tell me what this is about? Why did you wanna meet here and not go to a diner or something?”

“I need your help.” He started towards the library’s entrance.

“You need my help? What’re you talking about, Dean?” With three long strides Sam had caught up with him.

The detective pulled the door open and looked up at his brother. “I need your research skills.”

“That’s a joke, right? You didn’t just call me to help you with research?”

“Well, I also thought it was about time to see you again. Have some family time.” He shrugged and gave a huge grin.

“You’re unbelievable!”

“Sh, we’re in a library, Sammy, you’re supposed to be quiet.”

Sam gave him his best bitch face but followed him inside. “What’s this even about? Why can’t you do this on your own?”

“I could but this way it’s faster. And it’s important. Like really really important.”

“Yeah, right.” 

“It’s stuff for work. Listen, if you help me I owe you. Seriously.”

“Couldn’t you ask one of your colleagues?” Dean could hear the annoyance in Sam’s voice.

“No, it’s just Benny, Jo and me working this case and there was not a single officer available.” Or rather, he didn’t trust any greenhorn with this important task.

“Who’s Jo?” Sam asked quietly as they reached the section Dean had been looking for.

“Officer who worked the, uh, last case with us. She wants to become a detective so she’s working with us occasionally.” He took a look around. “Perfect.”

“‘Urban legends and folklore’? That’s a joke, right? What’re we doing here?” Sam glared at his brother.

“Research, Sammy. We also gotta go to the magic section. Here, take a look at this.” Pulling a few photos out of his pocket Dean turned to Sam, then showed him the pictures.

“What the hell?” The younger Winchester stared at the crime scene photos.

Dean nodded. “Exactly. Gotta find out if some nutjob took some weird magic shit way too seriously. You gonna help me or not?”

Sighing, Sam gave in. “Fine. But I only have a few hours.”

“Thanks, I owe you,” he told Sam and started looking at book covers. “We got nothing so this would be a start. I’ll check out the magic section, see if I can find anything there.”

***

Nearly three hours later Dean’s phone started ringing which made the librarian working a few yards away look at him angrily. He quickly took the call and answered quietly. “What’s up, Benny?”

“You need to come back, we have a situation… or, no, better go right to the address I’m about to text you.” His partner sounded stressed and Dean could hear hectical voices in the background.

“What’s going on?” Dean didn’t care that the librarian hushed him, he grabbed his notes and left the books lying on the table he’d worked on to go look for Sam.

“We got a crime scene. Sounds like it’s a real bad one. I’ll see you there,” Benny said and hung up. A few seconds later Dean’s mobile showed a new text message.

He found Sam between tall shelves buried in a book. “I gotta go. Would you finish up here and call me later?”

“Are you serious?! I’m not gonna do your stupid research alone!” Sam hissed.

Dean gave an impatient sigh. “Sammy, I need to get to a crime scene. Benny said it sounded real bad. I’m sorry, I really didn’t want that but I can’t help it.”

His brother glared at him for a few seconds then grumbled, “Fine. But seriously Dean, you owe me big time.”

“Thanks, Sammy.” He turned around and headed for the exit. A minute later he got into the car and drove to the address Benny had texted him.

He reached the rundown, abandoned farmhouse right after the coroner and parked the Impala on the side of the dirt road. They were in the middle of nowhere and he wondered how someone had even found anything out here. Just as he opened the door and got out a young officer walked over to him.

“Detective Lafitte is inside and wants you to go there right now,” he informed him, his face was pale.

Dean started towards the house. “How bad is it?”

“Very bad, sir. It’s a mess.” The officer stared at the ground as he followed Dean, visibly shaken.

“You been in there?”

“Yes. I was the first one at the scene. It’s down the hall, second door on the right.”

Eyeing the guy, Dean was just hoping he hadn’t puked somewhere in there. He looked terrible. “Alright, just stay out here and make sure no one who isn’t authorised gets anywhere near the house.” With that Dean took the shoe covers and gloves another officer standing at the door handed him, put them on and entered the house after taking a deep breath.

The first thing he noticed was the smell of blood and decay that increased with every step he took. He heard voices and passed Tessa’s assistant who was on his way back to the car, probably to get something for her. By now the smell was overwhelming and Dean took small breaths through his mouth, trying to concentrate on his surroundings. Except for the smell everything looked quite normal until he reached the door the young officer had send him to. The scene that presented itself to him was horrifying.


	7. Horrors

It was like stepping right into a horror movie. Dean had no idea how his colleagues could stand being in the huge room – probably the former living-dining room – for more than two seconds. He just wanted to back away, get out of there and breathe in fresh air but he clenched his teeth and entered the room.

“What the hell happened here?” he asked, taking a look around the barely lit room. The walls showed blood stains and traces of a fire and the burning smell mixed with the stench of rotten guts made him want to leave as fast as possible. Now he completely understood the poor officer. Some of the windows were boarded up and there was no way they could get the smell out of the room without disturbing the crime scene.

“Catch.” Benny tossed him a small tube. Dean gave him a thankful nod and unscrewed it. The paste didn’t help much but it was better than nothing so he smeared it under his nose, inhaling the mint scent and turning his attention back to the crime scene.

The stench was mostly caused by what looked like a heap of rotting intestines but it was definitely too much to be just from one or two persons. “How many are there?” Dean wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer as he squinted because his eyes still weren’t used to the little light that fell in through the dirty windows and slits between the boards.

“Four in here and one in the kitchen next door,” Benny answered and pointed at the two bodies dangling from roof beams in the far left corner of the room, then at what looked like a female corpse hanging down from a broken skylight to his left and finally at a small body which he hadn’t even noticed at all that lightly swung in the doorway connecting this room to what had to be the kitchen. “Looks like the other guy tried to make it to the patio door. It seems to be a similar MO to the body we had a few days ago.”

Dean took a few steps further into the room, pulled out his flashlight and eyed the bodies closely. Judging by their state of decay they had probably been hanging there for a couple of days; the skin around the cuts opening their torsos was nearly black, the rest of their skins was somewhere between yellow, orange and brown and maggots were crawling all over it. “Anybody bringing light in here?” he asked.

“Forensics should be here in a few, they’re stuck in traffic I think. They’ll bring everything.” Bobby went over to him as Tessa took an evidence bag and put a few maggots into it. “You seen Jo anywhere?”

“You brought her here? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He hadn’t noticed the officer anywhere, neither in the house nor outside.

“Well, she’ll have to get used to it.” Benny shrugged. “Figured I’d take her sooner rather than later. I’ll go and see if she’s still determined to become a detective or if she can’t stand seeing bodies.” With a tiny smirk on his face Benny left to look for her.

“You have a new colleague?” The coroner asked when Benny was gone and started examining the first body. “Hey, could you hold this?”

Dean crossed the room to hold the big flashlight for her. “Kinda. She helped us with the abduction cases and this might be her second case with us.”

“A woman? Interesting. I’m sure she’ll make it and deal with seeing bodies.”

With a look of confusion on his face Dean asked, “Have you met her?”

“No, not yet. But in my experience men vomit or even faint more often when they see – and smell – bodies than women do.” She concentrated on the cut parting the victim’s skin. “I hope the forensic guys show up soon, I can’t work with this light…” she muttered and took a step back.

“I’ll check out the other rooms if you don’t need me here right now.” When the ME nodded Dean handed her the flashlight and walked back into the hallway to get an idea of the one-storey farmhouse. Everywhere he looked was dirt, cobwebs and pieces of old, broken furniture which wasn’t unusual at all. What unsettled him though where the markings and strange symbols all over the walls in every single room. Some were carved into the wallpapers, others were painted onto them with what looked like blood. He couldn’t get rid of the goosebumps and the feeling something was really extremely wrong – aside from the obvious.

He eyed some of the symbols, took a few photos and sent them to Sam asking him to look out for anything similar in the books. None of them seemed familiar from his earlier research so he eventually went into the kitchen. To his surprise the body there looked entirely different to the others. He wasn’t hanging from the ceiling but laying on the ground and instead of the cut on his abdomen there was a hole in it like someone had just ripped his intestines out. The man didn’t even look like he was hung at any point although Dean couldn’t say that for sure since his head lay a few feet away from the rest of the body.

Never in his career he’d seen anything this violent and he couldn’t shake off the nausea. But he knew the worst was yet to come, he’d delayed taking a closer look at the body that hung in the doorway connecting the kitchen with the living room. He tried to calm his nerves to no avail and stepped closer do look at the small, rotting face. The lump in his throat just wouldn’t vanish as every detective’s worst fears became reality. The body dangling in the doorway was a little girl.


	8. A First Lead?

When Dean came home that night he was exhausted, absentminded and quiet. Cas was still awake – he couldn’t sleep at all when Dean wasn’t there – and noticed something was wrong when the detective didn’t immediately come to the living room to check on him. He waited and listened for anything from the hallway but an unsettling silence lay over the whole flat. After a few moments Cas got up from the sofa and walked towards the hall, stopping in the door and looking up at Dean. His boyfriend looked terrible.

“What happened?” he asked quietly, realising Dean hadn’t even taken off his jacket.

Dean shook his head and stared at the ground. “Don’t ask…” He gave a sigh and took his shoes off before walking right into the kitchen to get himself a glass of whiskey. Since he’d gotten together with Cas he’d barely had more than a beer or two occasionally but the little girl was already haunting him.

Pouring the liquid into a glass he mumbled, “You eaten anything yet?”

Cas shook his head, he had completely forgotten to eat but wasn’t really hungry even though it was already past eleven. His thoughts had mostly been at the therapy session – and Walker, but he wouldn’t tell Dean about that. He didn’t want him to worry even more.

“What about I order something and we eat together?” Dean suggested, he needed to get his mind off the case for a little.

“Okay.” Cas watched as his boyfriend downed the whiskey and refilled his glass before reaching for his mobile.

For the first time this evening Dean met Cas’s eyes. “What do you wanna eat?”

Shrugging, Cas mumbled, “I don’t know. Your pick. I’m not really hungry anyway.”

Dean thought for a moment, dialled a number and ordered their late dinner. After he’d hung up he picked up his glass, walked over to Cas and took his hand to pull him to the living room.

“How was your day?” he asked as he sat down on the sofa and pulled Cas close, hoping he wasn’t crossing a line but Cas instantly snuggled into him. They both needed the comfort of the other’s presence.

“It was okay.” Cas hoped Dean wouldn’t detect the lie and immediately continued. “I was thinking about calling Dr Tran to make another appointment.”

Sipping his whiskey, Dean looked down at Cas. “You think she can help you?”

“I hope so,” Cas said quietly. “She wanted me to tell her about…” He trailed off, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

Dean sat up a little and cupped Castiel’s cheek with his hand. “Do you want me to come with you if you decide to see her again? Y’know, for moral support.”

“I’ll think about it, okay?” He was relieved that the doorbell rang at that moment and Dean had to get up to get the food.

They ate in silence, both of them lost in thought. When they had finished Dean took the plates to the kitchen and placed them in the sink then went back to find Cas huddled on the sofa, yawning.

“I’m gonna take a shower then go to sleep,” he told him.

Nodding, Cas stretched his back and rubbed his eyes. “I’ll go to bed soon, too.”

“Kay.” Dean smiled, he was hoping they’d cuddle a little. He just wanted to feel Cas pressed against him, knowing that he was safe, even if it was just for the moment. He still couldn’t help but feel like this wasn’t over until Walker was caught.

Walking straight into the bathroom, Dean started undressing and turned on the water, hoping a hot shower would help him relax enough to get some sleep. Only when he was about to step into the shower he realised he hadn’t brought any clean clothes and headed to their bedroom. He saw the bedside lamp’s light shimmer through the ajar door and walked closer, getting a glimpse of Cas.

He stayed quiet and didn’t move when he realised that Cas was getting changed. For a brief moment he felt bad about spying on him despite knowing Cas didn’t want him to see his body anymore but he ignored his bad conscience. Telling himself he just wanted to see how the cuts and bruises were healing he watched Cas stepping out of his pants. He still looked terrible and would probably keep a lot of scars forever but the tattooed wings on his back were unscathed and Dean remembered how he’d loved to trace his fingertips over them.

Deciding it was better if Cas didn’t notice him he sneaked back to the bathroom and stepped into the shower, letting the hot water pour over his body. He missed being intimate with him, it wasn’t even about the sex – although it was incredible –, he missed cuddling with Cas, tracing his hands over his naked body and falling asleep feeling his skin against his own when Cas snuggled into him.

With a sigh he turned off the water after a couple of minutes, towelled himself and went back to the bedroom to grab a pair of boxers. Cas sat on his side of the bed, dressed in sweatpants and his now characteristic long-sleeved t-shirt. A faint smile lit his face when he saw Dean but he couldn’t hide the sadness and fear behind it.

When Dean walked back to the bathroom to brush his teeth Cas got up and followed him to do the same. Dean watched him out of the corner of his eye. He wanted the old Cas back but he knew it would take a lot including Walker to finally get caught – or killed, he didn’t really care which one – to give him a sense of normalcy.

As he crawled into bed a few minutes later he felt Castiel’s eyes on him and looked over.

“I take it this case is a hard one?” Cas asked softly, not wanting to upset Dean like he’d been when he’d gotten home.

Dean didn’t want to think about it so he just nodded and pulled the covers over his body. “Mhm.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Cas mumbled and switched off the light.

To his surprise Dean felt Cas move closer after a moment, lift his covers and wrap an arm around his waist. He felt Cas’s breaths ghost over his face and carefully reached for him, resting his hand on his boyfriend’s hip.

Cas didn’t utter a single word, just pulled Dean a little closer and awkwardly pressed a light kiss to Dean’s lips in the darkness of the room. A while later, Dean was fighting to stay awake, Cas’s breaths got slow and steady and Dean followed him to sleep.

***

“The good thing about mass murders: you get more people to investigate them. The bad thing: you still gotta attend that fucking autopsy yourself,” Benny muttered the next morning and took a gulp of his coffee. Their team was expanded by Garth and another officer but it was required that at least one detective had to be present at the autopsy. Neither Benny nor Dean wanted to go but they were on their way to the morgue nonetheless.

They parked in front of the morgue and headed down to the basement. The stench of rotten flesh already greeted them in the hallway and only got worse when they opened the door.

“You’re actually punctual for once,” Tessa who was just putting on scrubs mocked. “Already did the first one last night when all of them were here.”

“Which one?” Benny looked at the female body lying on the table.

The coroner pulled the second glove over her hand. “The girl. Exact same MO as the male victim from a few days back. I already examined the others briefly. So far it looks like none of them put up much of a fight except for the one that got beheaded. I’m guessing all of them were drugged but the results will take a few days.”

Dean was relieved they didn’t have to watch the little girl’s autopsy. “Do we know who those people are?”

“If you guys didn’t find anything then no. There weren’t any wallets, phones or anything else on the bodies except for their ripped clothes.” She leaned down and examined the body closely.

Just when Tessa had started cutting the victim open a little more to get a better look Dean’s phone rang. He left the room and took the call.

“Jo and I are on our way to an interview. The facial recognition had a match, we have the first victim’s name,” Garth informed him. “We’re gonna talk to his mother now.”

“Tell me what you know about him.”

“Not much. His name’s Adam Milligan, 17, lived with his mother. We’ll meet you guys back at the precinct after the interview and tell you what we found out. Might be our first lead,” Garth said and ended the call.


	9. Vanished

“I’d say all of the victims were killed within the same day, maybe even within a few hours – of course that’s just an assumption because I can’t say anything for sure because of the decomposition – and judging by the state of decay, their body temperature and most importantly those maggots we found I presume they were murdered a day or two after your first victim. The cases are most likely related,” the coroner told the detectives as the last body was being sewn together by her assistant.

Dean nodded, his thoughts weren’t at the autopsy anymore. He was thinking about the first body – Adam Milligan – and wondering what Garth and Jo had found out. They needed something soon and every one of them knew it. If the killer or killers continued with this pace their body count would constantly rise. He was still trying to figure out whether or not they should release a warning for the public.

Not even noticing that Benny had thanked Tessa after she’d promised to call as soon as the tox screen results were back Dean took the scrubs and gloves off and headed to the door without waiting for his partner. Jo had texted him that they were back at the precinct and she’d also talked to forensics who hadn’t found anything interesting yet.

The drive back to the station was quiet and the detectives didn’t talk much. Dean was still worrying about leaving Cas on his own but the case was distracting him most of the time. He couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to just quit and move away with Cas, somewhere nice with a low crime rate. He slowly shook his head at the thought. This job was his life and even though the relationship with Cas seemed to be serious – it was probably the most serious one he’d ever had – he wouldn’t, he couldn’t give it up and do something else.

After they’d parked in front of the precinct Dean told Benny to go ahead and that he’d be right there, then he pulled his phone out and called Cas. He waited for him to pick up as his phone dialled but apparently the line was busy. He hung up without leaving a message and took the stairs to their office.

His colleagues were already waiting for him and he noticed that they’d set up a case board with photos of the crime scenes and victims and the few pieces of information they had. Dean stepped closer to take a look at it as Garth started summing up what they’d found out by interviewing Milligan’s mother.

“She lives alone, the father is pretty much out of the picture, only visits once every few years and the kid never really considered him his father. We’re still trying to figure out who he is ‘cause the name he told her is a fake one. Don’t really think he’s the culprit though, if he abducted him the other murders wouldn’t make any sense. In case they really are related that is.”

Benny nodded. “ME says it’s very likely it was the same guy or guys.”

“Yeah. Anyway, Adam was a smart kid according to his mother, he wanted to study medicine after high school. He liked ball games and had much ‘female company’ as she put it but nothing serious. Was pretty popular in school but when he disappeared none of his friends seemed to know where he’d gone.”

“When did he disappear?” Dean asked.

“Sunday nine days ago sometime between 9.45 and 11 p.m. His mother filed a missing person’s report and she’ll go to the morgue to identify him tomorrow morning.”

“She said it was like he’d just vanished. He was in his room doing homework when she last saw him and then when she went to his room about an hour later to tell him she was going to bed he was just gone,” Jo added. “She also mentioned that it was really unusual for him to just leave without at least leaving a note and that she usually heard when he went out in the evening. She called his friends in the morning when she realised he hadn’t been home all night, he also didn’t show up at school. No one knew anything.”

“So the other vics gotta be dead for approximately a week.” Benny grabbed a sharpie and added the information to the timeline on the board.

Garth looked at Dean. “Did you find out anything about those symbols?”

“Not much. Some of them look like a mixture of symbols from European medieval manuscripts but so far nothing helpful has popped up. They definitely aren’t local though and I’ll keep digging.”

Sam had sent Dean a mail the night before, telling him how much he owed him for just leaving him at the library and that his search hadn’t produced anything that seemed to have any connection to any kind of murders.

***

Over the course of the next week the team’s frustration increased. The tox screen had revealed that all of the victims had been under the influence of some kind of drug but no one was able to find out what it was or how it had gotten into their systems. It seemed to be a widely unknown substance and they were still searching for a match.

Cas had been a little less reserved and Dean was happy that they finally started having real conversations again. The days seemed to get better, maybe because Cas was distracting himself with art, music, books and TV shows, but the nights still were the same. He was haunted by nightmares that made him whimper in his sleep and he would wake up every single night drenched in sweat and terrified.

A few days after the first appointment with Dr Tran he’d told Dean he would see her again and had made another appointment. The psychotherapist had suggested he’d bring some of his artwork so they had something to talk about besides his encounter with Walker but Cas assumed she would try to read something out of his drawings.

It was less than an hour before he would meet her when he still reasoned whether or not he should bring the sketch of the room he’d been held captive in. Eventually he put it in a folder with the other works he’d take with him and got ready.

The ride to Dr Tran’s office felt a little safer this time since he knew where he was going and what was expecting him but he was still nervous. This time no one would pick him up afterwards and he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea but he was determined to give it a try.

When the taxi stopped in front of the house he realised he was way too early but decided to go inside anyway. Being alone on the street still gave him an unsettling feeling. Or more precisely it was freaking him out but he was not going to admit that.

He rang the doorbell and looked down at Dr Tran’s assistant as she opened the door and asked him inside. Sitting down on the same spot he’d sat last time he tried to hide his nervousness. Knowing he’d have to talk about what Walker had done to him made him feel sick but he tried to calm down and stop his hands from shaking.

After a few moments of anxiously sitting on the small sofa he got up to the assistant’s desk and asked her if he could have a piece of paper and some kind of pen. She looked a little irritated at first but handed him a note pad and a pen with a smile. Cas thanked her and sat down again. Maybe drawing would calm him down a little, he still had a couple of minutes until his session started.

He was so absorbed in sketching that he didn’t notice the soft footsteps coming closer. Only when a shadow fell over him he winced and looked up, dropping the folder with his works he’d used as pad and scattering paper all over the floor.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry…” the boy he’d seen the last time, Dr Tran’s son, apologised quickly and kneeled down to help him pick up the drawings. He hectically gathered up the papers and carefully handed them back to Cas. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” he muttered, looking embarrassed.

Cas managed to smile at him despite his still racing heart and sat back down as he put his drawings back into the folder.

“Those are really good.” The boy nodded at the folder in Cas’s hands and smiled back at him shyly.

“Thanks.” There was a moment of awkward silence then Cas thought of something and looked up at the kid. “Are you the one who played the music last time?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess. I play the cello.”

“It was beautiful.” 

The boy blushed lightly. “Thank you. So, um, are you an artist or something?”

Cas nodded. “I work as an illustrator… or at least I used to, at the moment I’m not doing anything…” he admitted. He knew he should be looking for commissions but wasn’t sure if he even was ready to concentrate on his work again. 

“I understand. Could I… take a look at them? I really love art and I saw you sketching, that’s why I, uh, walked over, and those pieces looked really interesting.”

“Um, sure.” Cas smiled and handed the boy the folder.

“May I?” He nodded at the free space on the sofa next to Cas.

“Of course.” He watched as the boy took a seat.

“I’m Kevin by the way. And just so you know, I usually don’t do this.” He bit his lip and looked down at the folder, opening it.

“You mean talking to your mother’s patients?” Cas asked.

“Mhm. I mean, uh, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything…”

“It’s alright. My name is Castiel.” He eyed Kevin as he looked at his drawings with interest.

“I really like this one.” He held up an abstract drawing in different shades of dark blue with two tiny human figures in the bottom left corner.

Cas was about to say something when the door to the office opened and Dr Tran walked into the hall, looking a little confused as she saw her son sitting with Cas. Cas got up and greeted her while Kevin carefully put everything back into the folder.

“I see you brought some of your works with you.” She said with a smile. “Why don’t we get started? I’d love to see them too.”

“Of course.” Cas took the folder when Kevin handed it back and gave the boy smile before following Dr Tran to her office. Before he entered he turned around again to ask Kevin, “Do you remember what that musical piece was you played last time?”

“No, but I could look it up for you, I’m sure it’s in my planner somewhere. I’ll tell you after your session.” Kevin smiled up at him.


	10. A new Friend

Cas’s heart was racing and his breath was quick and shallow. He pressed his back against the wall and tried to come up with a plan. He didn’t know what to do, his phone was somewhere in the living room and he was certain that he wouldn’t reach it without letting whoever was outside know he was in here. Frozen in place he thought feverishly.

When the doorbell rang again Cas nearly jumped and he swore his heart stopped beating for a few seconds. Gathering up all his courage he sneaked towards the door and tried not to make any noise. He held his breath and wished Dean were here.

He knew that someone was right in front of the door but his heart was beating so frantically that he barely heard anything else. He also knew that the ringing shouldn’t be such a big deal, it should be nothing, but it terrified him. Since Dean had gone back to working two weeks ago no one had rang the doorbell without him expecting it. His brother called before he came over because he knew otherwise it gave Cas anxiety and no one else ever visited and rang. And he had no idea how that person even had gotten into the house.

Taking a slow breath he tried to calm himself and tiptoed the last few feet to the door to look through the spyhole, praying the person outside wouldn’t notice him. What if it was nothing and he was just paranoid? He probably – no, definitely – was incredibly paranoid. But what if it really was Walker? What if he’d come back to finish what he’d started? Or paid someone to come get him?

He carefully leaned forward and looked outside. When he recognised the guy outside he heaved a sigh of relief and felt incredibly stupid and ridiculous. Pressing his hand to his chest he tried to get his heartbeat under control as he unlocked and opened the door with the other hand.

“Uh, hi.” Dr Tran’s son smiled up at him shyly. “I didn’t want to disturb you or anything but I… Are you alright?” He asked when he noticed how shaken Cas looked.

“Yes… Yes, I’m alright.” Cas lied. “Um, would you like to come inside?”

Kevin thought for a second then nodded slowly. “If you don’t mind?”

“Not at all.” He smiled down at the boy, finally feeling a little better, and let him step into the hallway. “How did you get into the house? And how do you know where I live?” He asked before he could stop himself.

“The door was just open when I came because one of your neighbours left. And I kinda asked my mom. Not that I’m stalking you or anything. Not at all. It’s just that I found another one of your drawings under the sofa yesterday and wanted you to have it back as soon as possible,” he babbled, obviously pretty nervous. “And I wanted to apologise again, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s alright, I’m just… easily startled.” Cas replied, locked the door out of habit and led Kevin into the living room.

Kevin looked around in amazement, taking in all the painting utensils, drawings, papers, sketches and colours… and the huge chaos that was Cas’s and Dean’s living room since Cas had finally started drawing again after his appointment with Dr Tran three days ago. He eventually remembered why he even was here and handed Cas a thin folder. “So, uh, here.”

“Thank you. You really didn’t need to come all the way just to give it back though, I have another appointment scheduled next week and I didn’t even notice the drawing was gone.”

“I was in the neighbourhood,” Kevin mumbled and looked around again. “This is…”

“An enormous chaos?” Cas suggested apologetically.

“No. I mean, yeah, kind of, but it’s great.” The boy smiled. “You really have a lot of talent.”

For the first time since the doorbell had rung Cas smiled and finally his heartbeat was back to normal. “Um, thank you. It’s enough to make a living. Do you, uh, want to take a seat?” He asked awkwardly, not being used to company anymore except for Dean and Gabriel.

Kevin looked at him. “I’m not interrupting you with anything, am I?”

“No, I wasn’t really doing much.” He sat down on the sofa und gestured at the book he was currently reading.

“What’s that?” Kevin walked over to him and read the cover. “You’re interested in Renaissance and Baroque art?”

“Yes, I really like it and there were some amazing artists back then.”

“Totally, I just love Bernini’s work. He’s a Baroque sculptor, right?” He asked with interest.

Cas looked at him with surprise. “You know about art?”

“Just a thing or two.” He shrugged. “I like looking at it although I’m really mostly into the old masters. Modern art usually isn’t my thing.”

***

Dean cursed quietly when he got home. Apparently Cas had forgotten to pull the key from the lock and he couldn’t get inside. He knocked and hoped Cas would hear him. When the door wasn’t answered after a minute he searched for his phone and called his boyfriend. He just wanted to eat something and go to bed, it was past ten and he was dead tired.

“Hey, would you let me in?” Dean asked when Cas picked up, trying not to sound too impatient.

“Uh, yeah, sure, sorry…” Was he really embarrassed or was Dean just imagining things?

A moment later Dean heard footsteps then the key turned in the lock and the door opened. “I forgot to pull it again…” Cas mumbled and let him in.

“Don’t worry about it.” Dean smiled tiredly and took Cas’s hand to pull him close and wrap his arm around his back. “Did you eat?” He asked and placed a brief kiss on his lips.

“Yes, we, uh, did.”

“We?” Dean asked, visibly confused.

“Yeah, I have company…” Cas and Kevin had completely forgotten the time and talked about anything and everything for hours, at some point Cas had tried to cook before he had decided to just make sandwiches. His cooking still wasn’t any better than when he and Dean had met.

“Oh, that’s great.” Pulling back to take off his jacket Dean smiled again. He was glad Cas hadn’t spent another day all alone. “Who is it?”

“You don’t know him, I met him the other day.” Cas said as he waited for Dean to take off his shoes as well.

“You gonna introduce me?” Dean asked and followed Castiel into the living room where he immediately eyed the boy sitting in the arm chair. He wondered where Cas might’ve met the kid who looked back at him nervously.

“Kevin, this is my boyfriend Dean. Dean, this is Kevin.” Cas looked from one to the other and smiled.

Kevin got up and put out his hand. “Hello, nice to meet you.”

Without hesitation Dean took the proffered hand, shook it and nodded as he looked into the boy’s dark eyes. “Hey.”

“I, uh, I should go.” Kevin stuttered and glanced at Cas who noticed how intimidated he seemed by Dean.

“I’ll see you out.” Cas smiled at him reassuringly. “Thanks for stopping by and bringing me that drawing,” he said as they reached the door.

“No problem, really.” Kevin grabbed his jacked and put it on. “It was very nice talking to you.”

Cas nodded. “It was.” He hesitated for a moment but then decided to give it a shot. “You could come over again sometime… Only if you want to of course. I’m not some kind of creep and…” He stopped himself before he started blurting out even more stupid things.

Kevin smiled. “I know, I noticed. And I think I’d like that. Coming over again, I mean.”

Smiling back at him Cas took his phone. “You could just give me a call when you have time and feel like meeting and talking.”

“Sure.” He searched his pockets for his mobile then wrote Cas’s number in and called it. “Now you got mine too. Good night, Castiel.” With a smile he walked out the door and to the stairs.

“Good night.” He waved lightly and closed the door when Kevin was out of sight.

“Is he gonna come home safely?” Dean asked behind him.

“Yes, he got here by car.” Cas turned around and looked at Dean who was chewing some leftover pizza.

Dean noticed Cas didn’t really want to talk about it. He finished the pizza as he went to the living room, knowing Cas would follow him. “Anything else interesting happen today?”

“No, I just read and painted a little. How was work?”

With a sigh the detective slumped down on the sofa and reached for Cas. “Nothing new. We’re still waiting for the dental records and hope we can identify the victims that way. We couldn’t pull any fingerprints because of the decay…” He trailed off. “Sorry, you probably don’t want to hear any of this.”

“It’s alright, if it’s getting too much I’ll tell you.” Cas sat down next to Dean and leaned against him. “So you have six bodies and no idea who did it?”

“Yeah, exactly…” He mumbled. “No identities of the victims except for the first one, no motif, no idea what those weird symbols are and no killer.”

Cas looked up at him with confusion, he barely knew anything about Dean’s current case. “Which symbols?”


	11. Black Magic

The ringing of Dean’s phone woke them. The detective groaned and reached for it still half asleep. He cursed when it fell to the floor and switched on the bedside lamp, squinting into the bright light as he looked for his mobile on the floor. When he finally found it under the bed he answered the call with a gruff “Winchester,” expecting the worst.

“Dean, it’s me.” Sam’s voice sounded way too excited and hyped for this time of night and Dean groaned again.

“What do you want? It’s in the middle of the night!” he hissed a complaint and got up to leave the room and let Cas sleep again.

“It’s only half past one,” Sam told him and Dean could practically hear the bitchface he was making.

“Yeah, well, I just got to bed like two hours ago and I’m in the middle of a fucking case. Can’t it wait?”

“Actually it is about the case.” His little brother now sounded annoyed.

Dean rubbed a hand over his eyes and tried to focus. “What? I’m not following.”

“I dug a little deeper and I found something that might help you. I don’t know how exactly but that’s for you to figure out.”

“You found something? Why didn’t you call earlier?”

Sam heaved a frustrated sigh. “Because I just found it like fifteen minutes ago. Could you just shut up for once and-”

“You’re doing research in the middle of the fucking night? Don’t you have enough to do with your internship?”

“Jesus, Dean, you want the information or not?!” The younger Winchester growled.

“Yeah, fine, I’ll shut up. You’re still a fucking nerd though,” he muttered under his breath.

“I heard that.” The bitchface again, Dean was sure. “Anyway, get this. I came across some articles which mentioned old European manuscripts so I searched for them. It took me forever – seriously, Dean, you owe me so much – but I finally could find a couple websites with photographs of literally the whole manuscripts. Honestly, I don’t understand a single word of most of them cause-”

“Well that’s a surprise…” Dean mumbled.

“…cause only one of them is written in Latin,” he continued, ignoring Dean’s comment.

“Since when do you speak Latin?”

“Stanford. Now quit interrupting me or I’ll hang up!”

Realising that Sam really was getting pissed he muttered, “Sorry. Go on.”

“So, as I said, I didn’t understand most of them but some of the manuscripts had pictures and symbols as some kind of illustration or explanation next to the texts. I just sent you the pages I found, you’ll have to find someone to translate them because I only translated this one Latin text and Google can’t do it.”

“Why not?” He stifled a yawn.

“Cause they are written in Gaulish, Middle High German and old versions of modern Italian and French.”

“Where the hell am I supposed to find someone who understands that?!” 

“Don’t know. You’ll have to figure something out. Only thing I can tell you is what the Latin text is about but I think the others have a similar purpose.”

Now they were finally getting to the point. “What is it?”

“It’s from a spell book called ‘Conjurationes adversus principem tenebrarum’. The part with the symbols I recognised is about summoning demons. And by the look of it those other texts are spells too.”

“Spells? Seriously?” He wasn’t really surprised about that part, what took him by surprise was the fact that someone apparently believed in it enough to kill several people because of it. On the other hand there were people believing in a virgin getting a baby and that guy walking over water and they believed enough to fight wars in the name of religion.

“Yeah, looks like some real bad black magic.”

“Sam? Are you coming?” Dean suddenly heard a female voice in the background.

“Who’s that?” He asked curiously, remembering Sam had told him about a girl a couple of weeks earlier.

“Yeah, give me a minute.” Sam told the woman and ignored Dean’s question.

“Sammy, who’s that? This… what was her name? Jane? Jennifer?”

“Jess. Listen, Dean, you should look into this stuff. I know it sounds nuts but I suppose that’s the only lead you have, right? I sent you everything I found. And y-“

“I owe you, yeah, yeah, got it. Thanks, Sammy. And have fun with...” The line was dead before Dean could finish his sentence.

Dean sat in the dark living room for a few more minutes, trying to comprehend what Sam had just told him. He wanted to boot up his laptop and take a look at the stuff his brother had sent him but knew he wouldn’t understand much anyway and should rather get some sleep so he eventually got up and went back to the bedroom. There he lay down again and snuggled into Cas who was asleep again to his surprise.

He lay awake for what felt like forever, trying to think of someone who could translate those stupid texts. When he finally fell asleep he had disturbing nightmares about bloody symbols, decapitated bodies and weird rituals.


	12. Making Progress?

“Dean… Dean!” The urgency in Castiel’s voice immediately woke him and his eyes flew open.

“What?” He stared at Cas then looked around trying to figure out what was wrong.

“You had a nightmare…” Cas mumbled and ran a hand through his own tousled hair.

Dean blinked at him, ignoring the first thought that came to his mind – ‘This is exactly what he looked like after sex’ – and managed an obviously forced smile. “Nothing too bad, really… Sorry I woke you.”

He could see that Cas didn’t believe him so he just moved closer and wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in the crook of his neck. “Thanks for waking me though.”

“This is the second time, Dean,” Cas murmured quietly and placed a kiss on his hair.

Dean looked up at him. “What?”

“A few nights ago you were tossing around and mumbling stuff in your sleep too but this time it was worse. This case is really bad, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Hope Sammy’s research can help us somehow.”

“Was that the call earlier?” Cas asked and nestled up to Dean.

“Mhm, he might’ve found out something about those symbols I told you about.” He stifled a yawn and closed his eyes. “We should go back to sleep.”

In the next moment Dean felt Cas’s hand on the back of his neck pulling him close and his lips pressed tenderly against his own. He smiled into the kiss, surprised when Cas deepened it and slid his tongue into Dean’s mouth. Instinctively he pulled him even closer and ran his hand over Castiel’s chest.

Cas kissed him passionately and Dean couldn’t help but moan quietly as he carefully slid a hand under Cas’s shirt. He felt Cas grab his wrist to stop him and whispered a “Sorry” then pulled his hand away ran it through his messy hair. Just as he was about to pull Cas on top of him his alarm went off and made Cas jump.

“Fuck…” Dean growled and pulled away to turn it off. Of course the first time Cas didn’t already shy away after a few moments and actually took the initiative they had to be interrupted by his stupid alarm clock. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled again and leaned over to give him a last kiss before he got up.

He hated having to leave now but he knew if he stayed even a few minutes longer he’d be late and since he finally might have a first real clue thanks to his nerdy little brother he couldn’t risk wasting any more time. They needed to find someone who was able to translate those texts.

While he was waiting for the water for his coffee to boil he booted up his laptop, wanting to check out Sam’s mail before he got to work. He clicked on his mails and opened the one his brother had sent him, realising the texts he’d attached counted several hundred pages altogether.

“Great…” It would take ages to translate that stuff. Sam had written a note on the end of the mail telling Dean he should try to find a linguist at the university, maybe they might be able to help. He didn’t even understand the texts’ titles and tried to read them out loud.

“’Grimorium Verum’, ‘Chamali…’ What kind of tablet? Who the fuck speaks that crap?!” He didn’t even notice he was muttering to himself. If all those texts really were about black magic and summoning some kind of evil supernatural being, what exactly was the killer trying to accomplish? Instead of being helpful this discovery raised even more questions.

***

“What the hell is Gaulish?” Benny asked when Dean was done explaining what Sam had found out.

“Some kind of Celtic language mostly spoken in France and Belgium if I remember correctly,” Garth piped up.

The other two detectives and Jo looked at him in surprise.

“What? I used to read the Asterix comics.” He shrugged. “But I might know someone who could at least help us with the Italian and French texts.”

“Really? Who?”

He went to his computer and looked something up as he explained, “Some guy I went to med school with. I’ll give him a call.”

“You went to med school?” Jo voiced the surprised question Dean had wanted to ask.

“Yeah, I wanted to be a dentist for some time.” Apparently he found what he’d been looking for and dialled a number.

“Leaves someone who knows Gaulish and Middle High German…” Dean sighed and sat down in front of his own computer to search for linguists specialising in ancient and medieval European languages. Half an hour later he gave up with a frustrated sigh.

“What is it?” Jo looked up from Sam’s translation of the Latin text. She’d volunteered to proof-read it since she’d learned a little Latin in high school but the translation seemed to be correct.

“I found a faculty for German literature at the university and they have a few experts on medieval German literature, even one specialised in texts about magic. But not a single fucking person who can speak or at least read Gaulish.”

“Is it that important to translate all those texts?” The young officer asked. She and Dean were currently the only ones in the office. Garth had left to meet his former classmate and Benny was downstairs at forensics because Meg had called, telling him they had a few information.

“I don’t know but it might help us figure out who this nutjob is. Guess he can understand all those languages so that’s at least something but definitely not enough…”

“You think it’s only one person?”

“Yeah, can’t explain why but I kinda have a feeling. Anyway, I need a coffee. You want one too?” He got up, wanting to be alone for a bit.

Jo shook her head and looked back at the computer screen. “No thanks.”

Dean left and headed towards the canteen, got himself a coffee and stepped outside, hoping a little fresh air could help him clear his mind. Leaning against the wall he stared into space and sipped the hot liquid absentmindedly.

“Hi there.” He was so lost in thought that he only reacted when the small red head next to him nudged him.

“Oh, hi Charlie. Sorry.” Smiling at her he finished his now cold coffee and threw the paper cup into the trash.

She crossed her arms and looked him up and down. “What’re you doing out here all alone? Don’t you have a case to solve?”

“Yeah, I do. We might have a clue but we need some help with some stuff so right now I basically can’t do anything but wait…”

“What kinda help?” She asked curiously.

“There are some texts that need translation but we can’t find anyone to translate one of ‘em. We don’t even know if it’s worth it but that’s pretty much all we got.”

“Which languages?”

“Latin and some kind of old French, Italian and German, we got those covered. But we can’t find anyone who can read Gaulish for shit,” he said, the frustration in his voice apparent.

The police department’s IT girl grinned up at him. “I can read it.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, funny, Charlie. Really. Ain’t helping.”

“Cheer up, grumpy. I mean it. I can read Gaulish.”

Narrowing his eyes at her he asked, “Why the hell would you be able to read that?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “There was this game I used to play that took place in 200 BC or something, the texts were in English and Gaulish and I liked the authenticity so I looked it up and found a website to learn it. It was a pretty cool game.”

“You’re serious?” He couldn’t believe that he’d been searching unsuccessfully when help was practically just a few yards away.

“Yes I am. You gonna show me the text or not?” She asked, nearly bouncing with excitement. This definitely was something different than her usual tasks.

“Uh, sure. C’mon. And Charlie?”

“What?”

“You’re a genius.”

She smirked as she followed him back into the building. “I know. But you can say that more often.”

Just when they reached the stairhead they saw Bobby walk towards them. “Hey boy, I need to talk to you. “ His face was serious.

Not sure what to expect Dean nodded and turned to Charlie. “Tell Jo she should show you the text, she knows where it is, okay? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

With a nod she disappeared and Dean looked back at Bobby. “What happened?”

“Let’s go to my office.” Dean’s superior led the way and closed the door behind them when they’d entered then made Dean sit down in front of his desk. “I just got off the phone with the state police. We might have a lead on Walker.”


	13. New "Flatmates"

Dean had been sitting in his car in front of the apartment building for several minutes. Since he hadn’t been able to concentrate the whole morning after Bobby had told him the news his superior had sent him home, telling him to take the rest of the day off and come back the next day. There wasn’t much he could do at the moment anyway, those texts were their only lead and still needed to be translated. Charlie had also suggested to go find an archaeologist to take a look at the symbols, maybe they could be a help too.

Now he was in the Impala, hesitating to get out and face his boyfriend. He didn’t know whether he should tell Cas the news or not, afraid it might affect what progress he’d made in the past few weeks. Of course it was unlikely for the killer to come back, especially since he’d been seen over 1500 miles away two days ago but knowing he was still out there somewhere and reminding Cas of the things that had happened to him would probably not exactly be helpful for his condition. Noticing a figure behind the curtain in their living room he heaved a sigh and got out of the car. He’d have to tell Cas. But not right now.

When he reached the top floor Cas was already waiting for him in the doorway, his head slightly tilted to the side. “What happened?”

“What do you mean?” Dean asked as he reached the door and leaned down for a brief kiss but Cas put his hand on his chest and stopped him. 

“Why are you home already? You never get home before nine p.m.” Castiel sounded worried.

“I couldn’t concentrate the whole time so Bobby said I should go home for today.” It wasn’t really a lie but Dean felt bad anyway. He swore he’d tell Cas as soon as possible. In the right moment. If there even was such a thing.

Cas stepped aside to let Dean in and closed the door behind him. “Why not? Didn’t you get enough sleep?”

Glad about that suggestion the detective smiled and shrugged lightly. “I never get enough sleep. But I guess that’s it.”

Waiting until Dean had taken his jacket and boots off Cas looked up at him. “Dean, there is something I want to talk to you about,” he said in a serious voice.

Dean met his eyes. He couldn’t know about Walker, could he? “Okay… Why don’t we, uh, go to the living room and sit first?”

“Sure.” Cas smiled and turned around, knowing that Dean would follow him. “So, um, before all those… things happened…” he started as they were seated and bit his lip for a moment before continuing, “well, before that, I was at the animal shelter occasionally, do you remember that?”

How could Dean forget? After all Cas had been abducted after one of his visits there. He didn’t know why exactly Cas was bringing this up but it worried him. When he realised his boyfriend was waiting for an answer he nodded.

“I know you don’t want a cat because of your allergy but we talked about maybe getting a pet, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” He remembered that Cas had wanted to have a pet.

“Well, this morning I called the animal shelter and asked about those guinea pigs they had when I was there. They said they’re still there. They were really cute and I’d rather have them than get ones from a pet store. Only if you don’t mind of course…” Cas took his hand and looked at him with pleading blue eyes.

“Are you sure you wanna go back there?” Dean asked carefully. He didn’t mind getting pets but he wasn’t sure if going to that shelter was a good idea.

“I talked about it with Dr Tran and she said it could help me to take care of them. And to face my fears by going back to places and remembering and such… but I want you to come with me.”

Dean thought about it for a few moments. “Cas, do you even know how to take care of guinea pigs? And you know we’d need to get and cage and food and all that stuff.”

“I’m aware of that. And I already read a lot about guinea pigs so I think I am able to take care of them. Will you at least look at them?”

“God, your puppy eyes are nearly as good as Sam’s,” Dean grumbled but then smiled at Cas. “Alright, let’s take a look at them. You wanna go now?”

Returning Dean’s smile Cas nodded. “I’d like that.”

***

“I can’t believe you named them Bernini and Vincent,” Dean muttered under his breath a few hours later. They had gone to the animal shelter where Dean just couldn’t say no to the begging looks Cas had given him and the admittedly cute guinea pigs.

“Well, you didn’t want me to call them Delacroix and Cranach Sr,” Cas pouted.

Dean rolled his eyes at him. “’cause no one can pronounce that.”

“At least now you know who all of them are.” Cas teased him and gently petted Vincent in the pets’ new cage.

“You’re such a nerd,” Dean mumbled and smiled at how happy Cas looked, nearly as if nothing bad had ever happened.

When they’d left the house and walked towards the shelter Cas had been incredibly nervous and held Dean’s hand with a death grip but after a few minutes with all the pets – and a sneezing Dean right by his side – he had relaxed and actually enjoyed being back at the shelter. It was like watching a child unwrapping its presents when they’d gone to a store with supplies for pretty much every kind of pet and Cas had chosen a cage, food and even a few toys for their new “flatmates” before going back to the animal shelter to get them.

“You happy?” Dean asked quietly and wrapped his arms around Cas from behind.

“Yes.” Turning his head he smiled at Dean and pecked him on the cheek. “Thanks for coming with me.”

“I’d do anything for you.” Dean smiled back and he meant it. For now the new information about Walker was completely forgotten.

***

The next morning Dean knew something had come up as soon as he entered the office he shared with Benny, Garth and now also Jo. The three of them were leaning over Benny’s desk and talking about whatever it was they were looking at.

“What’d I miss?” He asked as he crossed the room and stopped behind his colleagues.

“We have the translations of all the passages with the symbols,” Garth informed him.

“Well that was fast…” he mumbled and looked over Jo’s shoulder at the texts.

Benny printed the ones he’d gotten per mail and lay them on the desk. “Garth’s friend said he’ll send his translation in a few minutes and Charlie wants you to come pick up hers,” he told Dean. “It’s really just the parts that seemed important and not the whole texts so it’s possible to get them this fast.”

“Got it.” He turned and went to Charlie’s small office which she shared with Ash, another IT crack. After a short knock he stepped inside and found Charlie in her usual spot behind her desk on her computer. “Benny said you have the translation.”

“I do and lemme tell you, this is some interesting stuff. Some kind of binding spell.”

“Binding what?”

“Manopos. I googled him and apparently he’s the god of youth and hunt. Something like the Greek Apollon. Why the hell do you need the translation of a Celtic binding spell?” She raised a brow.

“If only I knew.” He took the piece of paper from her. “Thanks, Charlie. We owe you.”

“Yeah you do.” She grinned. “Now go catch that killer of yours.”

He stopped in the doorway. “Oh, hey, does that name have any meaning?”

“’Chamalières tablet’? Nope, Chamalières is just the name of the city where it was found.”

“Alright, thanks again.” With that he left and headed back to his office.

His colleagues were sitting at their desks and shuffling through papers or staring at their computer screens. When Dean had taken a seat behind his desk Benny looked up.

“Since we have everything now every one of us looks into some of those texts. I want you to write down everything that could hint at the killer or the murders. Dean, you read that tablet translation. Jo, I want you to read that ‘Coniurationes Demonum’ again, Garth, you look into those two passages of the grimoires and I’ll read ‘Herpentil’s Schwarze Magie’. The sooner we actually find something helpful the better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got a little bit carried away and since I'm really interested in medieval literature I decided to look into it, meaning all those texts I'm referring to in these chapters are actually real. Plus I decided to finally get Cas some guinea pigs c:


	14. I'll keep You Safe

“So every one of those texts is an instruction for binding or summoning some kind of supernatural being,” Benny summed up late in the afternoon. He was standing in front of their whiteboard and scribbled notes on it. “We have powerful ghosts, demons, that Celtic god and a pact with Lucifer himself.” He turned to look at his colleagues.

“Yeah, but why would someone kill people because of this?” Garth asked. “Did any of your spells say anything about human sacrifices?”

The others shook their heads. “Blood, yes, bones too, but it doesn’t specifically say that human sacrifice is necessary.” Dean shrugged and leaned back in his chair.

“Maybe the killer or killers wanted to make sure it worked and overdid it in an attempt to summon the most evil they could get?” Jo suggested. “Black magic is often associated with pretty creepy sacrifices in the minds of many people after all.”

Garth voiced his doubts. “But isn’t it weird that this guy or guys apparently used symbols from so many different spells that supposedly summon such different kinds of evil? I mean there is a pretty big difference between ghosts and the devil himself… And combining them just doesn’t seem logical. Neither does killing people when there aren’t any sacrifices mentioned in the texts.”

“Guess he just tried everything he could get his hands on,” Benny muttered.

Jo stared at the whiteboard with their most important information for a few moments then she asked, “Do you think this guy is gonna kill again?”

“Not if it worked,” Garth replied. The others looked at him with doubtful and incredulous expressions.

“You don’t really believe in this crap, do you?” Dean shook his head at his colleague.

“I don’t know.” Garth shrugged. “I mean, there’s so much we can’t explain so why not believe in supernatural things? Just ‘cause you can’t prove it exists doesn’t mean isn’t real.”

Sitting down on his desk, Benny looked at Garth in disbelief. “C’mon, man, you gotta admit this stuff is nuts.”

“The way the spells were carried out definitely is weird but apparently it isn’t dumb to the killer or killers. If it makes sense to them we have to take this seriously.”

“Garth’s right,” Dean cut in before Benny could say anything else. “We need to think like that god damn killer. Meaning as long as there’s nothing – or rather nothing supernatural – committing fucked up, evil crimes we have to expect more killings.”

“Great… Anyway, did anyone hear back from forensics or the ME’s office? They were still looking into that drug and trying to match our victims to databases.”

Flicking through a pile of notes and papers, Jo said, “I got a call from the lab earlier, they still don’t know what kind of drug it was but they’re sure it must’ve put the victims in a semi-conscious state, basically making them unable to defend themselves or even understand what was happening. The victim that tried to run didn’t have as much of the drug in his system as the others, he apparently realised what was going on but since a side effect probably made all of them mostly unable to control their bodies he didn’t make it.” She found the print she’d been looking for and handed it to Benny. “Those are the ingredients they could identify.”

The detective skimmed through the list then looked at Garth. “Bring this to narcotics and ask around, maybe it means something to someone there. I doubt it but we better make sure.”

Garth got up with a nod, took the piece of paper and left.

“We still couldn’t identify any of the victims. The ones that still had usable fingerprints weren’t in any database and the only way to identify them according to Tessa is via dental records but we don’t have any to compare them with. None of them showed up in the missing persons files either,” Dean told the others. “I just don’t get why no one would at least report the child missing.”

“So all we know is that it’s probably the same killer or killers who believes in supernatural beings and black magic. They used the same rope for all of the hangings and two different knifes, all of which can be purchased pretty much everywhere,” Benny concluded and sighed in frustration. “Alright, let’s call it a day. There’s nothing we can do today and I guess every one of us needs a good night’s sleep for once.”

When Jo was out the door Benny looked at Dean. “You already told him?”

“Told who what?” It took him a moment to get what Benny was talking about. “How do you know?”

“You know policemen are gossips. Word is state police pulled Walker over but he ran.”

“No, state police didn’t pull him over. Someone at a gas station recognised him and called them but he was long gone when they arrived. But the security camera caught him and it’s definitely him.” He’d seen a still this morning and recognised him immediately. Even though Dean had never met Walker in person he knew he’d never forget his face.

“So, did you talk to Cas yet?” Benny asked.

Dean shook his head. “No. I couldn’t tell him yesterday, he was so happy ‘cause we got pets and…”

“You got pets? Wow, things gotta be really serious, huh?” Benny grinned, happy for his friend despite the situation.

“Yeah, they are.” A faint smile lit Dean’s face. “But I gotta tell him. Guess I’ll better do it today.”

***

Dean set down the takeaway he’d gotten on his way home on the counter in the kitchen. He wanted to tell Cas the news after dinner and was glad he had the whole evening off. Surprised Cas hadn’t heard him enter their flat he walked over to the living room and found him in front of his easel, bound up in his work. It was a familiar sight before the abduction and this was the first time after it that Castiel hadn’t even realised Dean had come home. Dean was sure it was a good sign.

“Hey beautiful.” He smiled as he stopped to look over Cas’s shoulder, noticing only a slight wince.

Turning around to look up at Dean Cas noted, “Hey. You’re early again. No new clues?”

“We barely have any at all. Benny sent us home since we’re stuck. What’re you painting?”

“Actually I’m not quite sure yet,” Cas said and looked back at the canvas. “It’s mostly just colours. I don’t know, just felt like painting.”

“It looks interesting. Hey, are you hungry? I brought dinner.”

“Let me just rinse the brushes, okay?”

“Alright.” Dean nodded and went back to the kitchen, set the table and got two beers from the fridge. He waited until Cas joined him at the table and smiled as he spotted a few dabs of paint on his skin.

“Do you want to talk about your case?” Cas asked and took a sip from his beer.

Dean told him about the few things they knew while he and Cas ate. He felt uncomfortable knowing he’d have to bring up Walker and decided to do it sooner rather than later. When they were finished Dean reached over the table and took Castiel’s hands.

“There’s something I have to tell you.” 

Slightly tilting his head Cas waited for Dean to continue, not sure what to expect. “What is it?”

Dean took a deep breath and looked at Cas, watching every reaction. “Walker was seen three days ago.”

Instantly Cas’s face turned pale and his hands twitched in Dean’s grip as he stared at him in shock. “What? Where?” His voice was barely more than a whisper and sounded shaky.

“He’s not anywhere around. Someone saw him more than 1500 miles away. State police are looking into it and every police station in the country has his picture by now. We’ll get him, I promise.”

Cas pulled his hands away and wrapped his arms around himself, whispering, “He could be here by now.”

“We’re looking into every traffic cam and other CCTV, if he’s here facial recognition will come up with a match and we’ll know immediately. But no one thinks he’s coming back, it’s way too risky for him, pretty much everyone here knows his face.” Dean got up, walked around the table and squatted down in front of Cas. “He won’t come after you. It would be stupid. And I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

Castiel desperately wanted to believe him, he wanted to believe everything would be okay and they’d catch Walker soon but knowing he was still on the run made him feel even more miserable and anxious. It had been more than six weeks since he had been rescued and in all that time he’d tried not to think about Walker but now he couldn’t push the thoughts to the back of his mind anymore.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?” Dean said quietly. “I’ll keep you safe.” Even though he hadn’t been able to do it last time.


	15. Afraid and Powerless

“How did he take it?” was the first thing Benny asked when he saw Dean’s face the next morning.

Even three cups of coffee hadn’t helped with Dean’s tiredness. He’d been awake nearly the whole night, had barely slept an hour and a half because he didn’t want Cas to be awake all alone since he hadn’t been able to fall asleep and just sat on the bed, wrapped in a blanket, shaking and occasionally muttering to himself or dozing off for a few minutes only to jerk awake from nightmares.

In the morning it had taken Cas almost an hour to convince Dean to go to work and that he’d be alright and Dean had only left after Gabriel had come over and promised he’d stay with Castiel until he got back.

“Not good but what did you expect…” It wasn’t really a question. “He’s terrified and I get it. Hell, I’m terrified too. I just can’t let anything else happen to him,” he mumbled and ran a hand over his tired eyes.

Benny looked at his friend sympathetically. “Maybe you should go back home. Be with him.”

“No, he told me to go. And we need to make the breakthrough in this fucking case. I just need another cup of coffee…” He yawned and left their office again, only to bump into Jo in the hallway. When he saw her face he stopped. “What’s wrong?” 

“We might have another murder. Or rather, murders.” She entered the office followed by Dean. “Guys, three more bodies were found four days ago.”

“Four days ago? Why’re they calling it in just yet?!” Garth asked with a puzzled expression.

“The bodies were found about 50 miles from here. Local police didn’t make the connection till half an hour ago. Think it could be our killer even though the MO is different but since it looks pretty much like some kind ritual they thought they should give us a call so we can come over and check it out.”

“Alright, Dean, Garth, you go and take a look at the corpses and talk to the local police,” Benny instructed.

***

“I’m not sure which one is more fucked up, this one or the others…” Garth mumbled after a minute of stunned silence, not able to tear his eyes away from the corpses on the crime scene photographs.

The pictures showed a grotesque scenery that was accentuated by the fog swirling around the bodies. The victims – two men and a woman – were pinned to tree trunks by thick lances that had been rammed through their ribcages with sheer force and had been cut open similarly to the other bodies they’d found.

Some of the photographs were close-ups of the entry wounds and deep cuts and it was obvious that they had been gutted too. The distance shots showed the whole scene at the edge of a forest. The victims’ intestines were nowhere to be seen but blood splatters covered the trees as well as the grass and prompted that the people had been killed there.

The whole scene was a mess, leaves, twigs and a few tree branches lay on the ground, other branches and whole trees had been snapped off and uprooted by something and all in all it looked like a severe storm had devastated the site. It would be even harder to get any forensic evidence from this crime scene; not that they had gotten anything helpful from the other two.

The strangest thing though was the symbols carved into the trees and the bodies. They immediately reminded Dean of the symbols in the old farmhouse but he was certain none of them were the exact same ones.

Dean looked from the pictures over to the examination tables where white sheets covered the bodies, now freed from the lances. The ME had already performed the post-mortems and sent the report to their station but he briefly told them about the examination and his analysis nonetheless.

The victims who were dead for approximately a week now had been pinned to the trees when they were still alive but he assumed they’d been under the influence of a drug or anaesthetic since there was nothing to indicate that they had tried to defend themselves. Since they also hadn’t been bound to the trees to keep them from running away it was very likely. The tox screen would hopefully establish clarity. The cuts had been caused after their hearts had stopped beating and the intestines were missing, a team of forensics had looked for them but couldn’t find anything. 

Unfortunately there wasn’t much else he could tell them. Tessa would come over and check if the cuts may have been caused by the same knifes but aside from the gutting and the symbols nothing hinted on the same killer. Still, it seemed highly unlikely that two different killers would murder people and make it appear ritualistic within two or three weeks so they would have to pursue this lead.

After they’d taken a look at the bodies Dean and Garth left the morgue to talk to the policemen working this case. Maybe they could up with something by comparing their information.

On their way to the station Dean called Cas. “Hey, how is he doing?” he asked when Gabriel picked up after a few rings.

“Not good. He doesn’t eat, doesn’t even leave the bed and flinches at every sound. He’s scared to death. You’re gonna get that bastard, right?”

“I hope so. I really do. And honestly, I don’t care if he’s dead or alive after I get my hands on him,” Dean gritted.

***

When the detectives came back to their own station the sun was setting. They’d spent more than three and a half hours at the station before driving over to the crime scene to get an idea of it.

“The local police doesn’t have any leads yet. They don’t know who those people are and their forensic team hasn’t found anything till now either,” Garth told Benny and Jo.

“What’s really weird is that the whole crime scene is completely destroyed” Dean said. “Looks like there was a hurricane or something but everyone said they can’t explain it. There haven’t been any severe storms in the area for years and I even checked the weather reports from the past couple of weeks. Nothing.”

“So an invisible or non-existent storm destroyed the crime scene sometime before or after those killings?” Benny scoffed.

“After the murders. At least that’s what forensics said. Did you get anywhere with the photos of those symbols I sent you?” Dean asked Jo.

“Not yet. I did some digging but couldn’t come up with anything. But then I went to the university and talked to some people there. They sent me to one of the archaeology profs who promised he’d take a look at them and told me to go see one of the literary scholars there too. Now I’m waiting to hear back from them but it’ll probably take a few days.”

Time they probably didn’t have. So far the killer or killers had murdered about once or twice a week and it didn’t seem like they’d stop anytime soon, maybe just moved a little southwards.

What was bothering all of them was the fact that they hadn’t been able to identify any of the victims except for the first one. How could eight people go missing, one of them a little girl, without anyone noticing and reporting them missing? It just didn’t make any sense. Most of them were Caucasian so it was highly unlikely that they were dealing with illegal immigrants which might have at least explained the lack of missing person reports.

“Okay, let’s recapitulate the most important information we have,” Benny eventually suggested. “We have six murders which are connected plus possible three more people killed by the same person or persons.”

“All of them were gutted when they were dead but the murderer did different things to their intestines,” Jo added.

“We didn’t find much on the crime scenes besides the bodies and those weird symbols. No clues as to who killed them. The rope the first six were hanged with is the same but very common and two different kinds of knifes were used. Tessa will check with the other coroner and take a look at those cuts,” Garth said.

“Anything else?” Benny asked after a few moments of silence.

Dean leaned against his desk. “We could only identify one of the victims and have no idea why no one reported the others missing. And all of them had an unknown substance in their blood, some kind of drug and the lab is still trying to figure out what exactly it is.”

“Okay, let’s summarise this,” Benny sighed. “We have no idea who these people are or what connected them, we have no clue who the killer could be and how they knew those people. We don’t even know if it’s just one perp or more. Only thing we know is that they either believe in some sort of magical crap with summoning demons etc. Or at least want to lead us to believe that they do. So basically… we still don’t have shit.”

They were powerless.

***

“Thank you for staying with him,” Dean said quietly.

“No problem. He’s still in the bedroom, maybe you can make him eat something.” Gabriel gave a faint smile. “I hope he’ll be okay one day.”

“Me too. I shouldn’t have told him…”

Shaking his head Gabriel put on his shoes and walked to the door. “No, I think you did the right thing. Sooner or later he has to face his fears and maybe this way the therapist can help him more. Just take care of him, okay?”

“Of course. And maybe you’re right.”

“Yeah. I’m gonna go home now. Night.”

“Night.” Dean quickly went into the kitchen as soon as Gabriel had closed the door behind him and then headed to the bedroom. He knocked quietly and entered when he couldn’t hear any reaction. “Hey, Cas,” he said softly and sat down on the bed.

Castiel looked at him with a vacant expression and Dean just wanted to make Walker pay for everything he’d done. Cas had wrapped himself up in a blanket and leaned against the headboard, his knees tucked up. Dean scooted over so he sat right next to Cas.

“May I?” he asked and carefully tugged at the blanket. When Cas didn’t object Dean lifted the blanket and slid under it before wrapping his arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “I missed you,” he whispered and kissed his cheek.

Cas leaned his head against Dean’s shoulder and closed his eyes. He looked terrible, exhausted and pale. They sat in silence for a while and Dean gently caressed his cheek.

“Here, you should eat something,” he mumbled after a while and held up a bag of crackers and a bar of chocolate. “That was all I could find, I’ll go to the grocery store tomorrow. But chocolate’s good, right?” He smiled when Cas moved a little and reached for the chocolate. It was better than nothing.

“I’m scared,” Cas eventually whispered after he’d nearly eaten the whole bar.

“I know, Cas. But he won’t come for you. That’d be stupid and way too risky. And I’ll kill him if he ever tries to hurt you again.”

Finally Cas looked up at Dean. “You’re serious about this, aren’t you?” His voice was still emotionless.

Dean clenched his teeth and nodded slowly. “He won’t hurt you, I promise.”

Setting the food away Cas snuggled into Dean and closed his eyes again. “I’m so tired.”

“Go to sleep, okay? I’ll watch over you.”

“You should sleep too,” Cas mumbled.

Dean desperately needed some sleep but he still asked, “You sure you are okay with that?”

“Yes. Will you hold me?”

“Of course.” He smiled faintly, wrapped both arms around Cas and gave him a brief, gentle kiss. “Try to sleep, love.”


	16. The Breakthrough

The call that would change everything came the next day. Benny picked up, listened for a few seconds and then put the phone on speaker.

“…and I’d really appreciate someone coming down here. Preferably not you, Lafitte,” Meg’s cocky voice sounded through the office.

“I’ll get someone down to you,” Benny grumbled and hung up before looking at the others. “Forensics found something but someone apparently likes to make a show, so who wants to go?”

Garth shrugged, he was already busy and he wasn’t exactly fond of leaving in the middle of whatever research he was engrossed in.

“I’m on it. And I’ll have her send the report so you don’t have to talk to her,” Dean said to Benny with a lopsided grin even though he didn’t really feel like grinning. He was still tired as hell but had at least gotten about five hours of sleep the night before – not that it was enough but he was glad Cas had slept a little too. Gabriel would come over in the afternoon and accompany him to his appointment with the shrink. Hopefully she would able to help him calm down a little, he still was a shivering mess.

When Dean reached the cellar he stopped to knock on the door to Meg’s small office and lab and waited until he heard her calling “Come in!”

“Thank god it’s you. Not that I like you that much either, but y’know, at least it’s not your friend,” she greeted him with a smirk.

“Good to see you too, Meg,” he said ironically. “And seriously, you and Benny need to figure out whatever that thing between you is.”

“There’s nothing between us. He’s a douchebag and I don’t like him, that’s all. But that’s not why I called.”

Dean nodded and crossed the short distance to the desk the forensic scientist was currently leaning against, hands buried in the pockets of her lab coat. “I figured. What’d you find?”

“Remember how we barely found any forensic evidence on the other crime scenes?”

Of course he remembered and apparently it was a rhetorical question since Meg immediately continued.

“This one is pretty similar, nothing on or around the victims as well as the scene itself. Whatever caused that destruction surely made finding anything interesting and helpful pretty much impossible. But,” she emphasised with a smile, “this time we have something. And let me tell you, it’s something good.”

Supressing a sigh Dean tried not to sound too sarcastic as he asked, “Would you be so kind and put me out of my misery?”

“I’m getting there. Follow me.” She walked past him and out the door only to step into a larger lab a few yards down the hallway.

The detective looked around and noted the three lances lying on a table. He followed the small woman, impatient to hear what she’d found. After handing Dean a pair of disposable gloves and snapping some on as well Meg carefully picked up one of the lances. The tips had been cut off to remove them from the bodies without causing further damage.

“As you can see those are all the same type. But this one’s special.” She turned it a little and nodded at a dark smudge near the middle of the shaft. “See that?”

Leaning down a little Dean took a closer look then his eyes widened when he realised the grey stuff was fingerprint powder. “Is that…?”

“Yup. Partial print, and a pretty good one. Whoever touched this missed it while wiping the lances clean. We’re running it through the system right now. I’d say it’s quite likely that this is your killer’s – unless they wiped the lances after purchasing them and then used gloves during the killings.”

“Is it enough to get a hit?”

“If that person is in any of the databases I guess so, should be enough for a 70 to 80% match or something like that. Can’t tell you much else though. Gotta cross your fingers.”

“Got it. I suppose you’ll call as soon as something turns up. Is that everything?”

“Pretty much, yeah. Didn’t find anything on the clothes or the bodies themselves, let alone the crime scene. What is surprising though is that given the fact those lances were used to pin those people against tress they’re pretty lightweight. If I were a killer I’d probably used heavier ones just to be sure the victims stayed right where they were.” She handed it to him so he could see for himself.

Dean nodded, the lance was in fact a lot less heavy than he’d expected. He couldn’t really be pissed that Meg had wanted someone to come down for something she could’ve easily told them over the phone. It was their first real lead in the case and he prayed they’d come up with something soon as he took his leave and headed back to the office to tell his colleagues about it.

***

“Hello Dean…” Castiel was peeking around the corner of the living room when Dean entered after setting the groceries he’d gotten on the way back home on the floor.

“Hey Cas,” he answered with a smile, relieved that his boyfriend wasn’t hiding in the bedroom anymore. At least for the moment. “How was the appointment?”

“It was… okay, I guess. Dr Tran was very patient and competent. We talked a little about art, then she asked about Vincent and Bernini and then she wanted to know more about the… the abduction. And I saw Kevin again.” A faint smile lit his face for a moment then his eyes darted to the ground. This was probably more than Castiel had said the whole previous day.

“And how are you feeling?” Dean asked softly and cupped Cas’s cheek with his hand.

Cas gave a small shrug and closed his eyes. “Could be better…” he mumbled and suddenly he looked incredibly vulnerable and scared.

Dean gently pulled him into a hug and held him for a while, Castiel’s face buried in his neck as he clung to Dean. 

“I just want this to end,” Cas whispered eventually, digging his fingers into Dean’s skin through his shirt as he held on even more tightly.

“I know. It’ll be alright, I promise, we’ll catch that fucker.” Dean slowly stroked Castiel’s back and pressed a kiss to his temple.

The ringing of Dean’s mobile phone interrupted the silence. With a sigh Dean pulled it out of his pocket, checked the screen and raised a brow in wonder. “I’m sorry, I need to get that,” he apologised and let go of Cas. “I’ll be right back.”

He took the call as he left the room. “Winchester.”

“Hey, your friend isn’t answering his cell so I decided to call you,” Meg told him.

Leaning against the kitchen counter Dean asked, “What’s this about? You got anything?”

“No, I just felt like giving you a booty call.” He could practically see her rolling her eyes. “So, yeah, I got something. Great news, actually. I got a match.”

“The fingerprint was in the system?” He started to listen attentively.

“Yup. It’s an 82% match which is usually pretty reliable but I gotta say if that’s your killer I’m a little surprised. Although based on what I told you about the print and the lances it makes sense I guess. And hey, who am I to judge. It’s your job to figure out why she did it anyway.”

“She?!”

“Yeah, the fingerprint is a woman’s.”


	17. Evil

The stunned silence lasted for solid seven seconds until Meg asked, “Hey, you still there?”

“A woman? You sure?”

“The system is pretty sure and I checked it, seems legit. I can’t guarantee she’s your killer but it’s definitely her print. But as I said, given the facts it’s likely. That would also explain the lightweight lances. Her name is Josie Sands. I’ll send you everything I got in a few minutes, just need to finish it up but I thought I’d tell someone already.”

“Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks. Really. I’ll try to reach Benny. And I’m gonna call Bobby.”

“Do that, then I’m done for today.” Without another word Meg hung up.

Dean stared at his phone for a few moments. A woman? Female serial killers were rather uncommon and they usually didn’t kill in such bloody, violent ways. Many of them murdered their victims – mostly family, acquaintances or children – by poisoning them and afterwards often buried them. Of course that was just a generalisation but yet Dean couldn’t remember a single case involving a female murderer to be this violent. The fact that none of those points applied to this case made it even more odd and abnormal.

His thoughts were interrupted by a quiet, “Dean? Are you alright?”

When he looked up he saw Cas in the doorway, looking at him with a worried expression, his head tilted slightly and in that moment he looked so normal, just the way Dean remembered from before the abduction, that he drew a sharp breath.

“What is it? Bad news?” Castiel asked, misinterpreting Dean’s reaction.

Running a hand over the back of his neck Dean shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. We finally might have a lead on the killer. I have to make a few calls, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. I’m going to take a shower, you just go ahead and place your calls.” Cas smiled lightly and turned to leave.

“Hey, wait,” Dean said and was right behind him with two long strides, stopping Cas by grabbing his shoulder and gently turning him back around. “I might have to leave again, not sure yet. Should I call Gabriel to come over? Or Sam? I don’t want to leave you all alone.”

Seeing the fear in Cas’s eyes was like a blow to his guts and for a moment Dean considered calling his colleagues the next morning but he just couldn’t do that. After all there were lives at stake. “I’m so sorry, Cas,” he mumbled and took his hand.

“It’s okay, I understand. Just tell me if you have to leave, okay?” He put on a brave face and managed a forced smile.

“I’ll only leave if it’s absolutely necessary, I promise.”

Cas nodded and left the kitchen. Dean went to the living room and booted up his laptop to look through the pieces of information Meg had sent him.

After a few minutes he dialled Benny’s number. When no one picked up he called Bobby to tell him the news, after all he was his superior and should know about any development. And they needed to talk about jurisdiction since the murders hadn’t occurred in the city and it actually wasn’t their case.

His old friend answered with a gruff, “Singer.”

“Hey Bobby, Meg from forensics just called, she found a fingerprint on one of the lances in the last case and was able to match it.”

He summed up the few things they knew about the case and the woman who lived in the city, and eventually asked, “You think we should go pick her up?”

“Technically that isn’t even our case. Email everything to the local authorities, I’ll call in the morning to talk to them and offer our help. I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do in the meantime, I’ll get back to you guys as soon as I clarified everything.”

“Got it. Thanks.”

“Now get some sleep, boy, you might not get much of that in the next couple days.”

“Yes, sir,” Dean mumbled with a smile and ended the call. Before he started his research to find out as much about Josie Sands as possible he walked to the bathroom and knocked.

The door opened and Cas immediately asked, “Do you have to leave?” The panic in his voice was unmistakable. He didn’t even seem to realise that he was wearing nothing but a towel and Dean could see his body for the first time since the abduction. Dean tried not to stare at the scars and instead looked into Castiel’s blue eyes.

“No, we’ll have to figure out whose case this is first and Bobby wants to do that first thing in the morning so I will stay here.”

Relief written across his face Cas suddenly realised he was practically naked and quickly closed the door. “I’ll be done in a minute,” he murmured.

Dean sighed quietly and returned to the living room to quickly look up their possible killer in the databases. She lived in the outskirts of the city and had a record of assault and theft but all of those crimes where nowhere near as violent as those murders.

“Are you coming to bed?” Cas asked nearly an hour later.

Dean hadn’t even realised it had gotten so late, he didn’t even know what Castiel had done the whole time. With a nod he closed his laptop and got up. He was still clueless as to what might have caused this woman to commit these murders but on the other hand he didn’t even know if she really was the one they were looking for. That was a question he was determined to resolve the next day.

***

“Alright, guys, listen up. This is our case now. The local police is relieved they don’t have to deal with such a bloody case and our suspect lives here so they gave us the go-ahead,” Bobby announced the next morning. “I want you to bring her in for interrogation.”

Those were the words the team had been waiting for. Dean and Benny got up and left while Jo and Garth set up the interrogation room.

It took twenty minutes to reach the small bungalow Sands lived in.

“Looks pretty normal,” Benny noted as he got out of the unmarked police car. “Not that has to mean anything…”

The two detectives walked the short distance through a small yard to the front door and rang the bell. Nothing happened.

“You think she’s home?” Dean asked.

“Maybe she’s just gutting her next victim right this second,” Benny mumbled grimly and rang again.

Eventually footsteps approached and the door opened to reveal a stunning woman with red hair, wearing a black leather jacket and red lipstick. “How can I help you?” she asked and sized them up.

“Miss Sands?” Benny asked.

“Yes, that’s me. Who’s asking?” She crossed her arms and her gaze darted to Dean.

Despite her beauty Dean felt like he looked right into an abyss of evil and something in her eyes made him want to shiver but he supressed the urge and showed his badge. “Detectives Winchester and Lafitte. We need to ask you a couple of questions and would like you to come to the station with us.” Strangely he couldn’t work up the nerve to be commanding, this woman somehow unsettled him extremely.

Josie Sands continued to stare at him. “What’s this about?”

“Just a few questions about a case we’re working,” Benny said.

“I see. Let me just get my keys.” She took a few steps back into the hallway and picked up a set of keys from a dresser, then came back to the door and locked up before following Dean and Benny to the car. “I’m not being arrested, am I?”

“No, Miss, this is just a routine questioning.”

“Doesn’t exactly look like routine,” she said and got into the backseat.

Sitting in the passenger seat Dean couldn’t help but glance at their suspect in the side-view mirror. He couldn’t explain his reaction but he had an incredibly bad feeling about this woman who leaned against the backrest with a smug little smile. Something definitely was off with her.

He was glad when the drive was finally over and he could get a little more distance between them, even if only for a short while. As they walked to the interrogation room Dean could feel her eyes boring into his back and he wondered why she seemed so focused on him, she’d barely looked at Benny at all.

When she had taken a seat Dean left to get Jo, he and Benny had decided to have her watch the interrogation. They returned a few moments later and their suspect looked at him as he sat down across from her.

“So, Miss Sands…” Dean started, noticing Jo pulling a note pad and pen out of her pocket from the corner of his eye.

“Call me Abaddon, please.” Josie Sands smiled at him sweetly.


	18. Demons

“Abaddon?” Benny echoed and cocked a brow.

Josie Sands ignored him and continued to stare into Dean’s eyes in a way that made his skin crawl. He somehow had a feeling she wanted to eat him alive. Or hang and gut him like the others.

“I’m gonna go with Miss Sands,” he replied and forced himself to look confident.

Leaning forward she placed her elbows on the table between them. “What is it you want to know, detective? Which case is this about?”

“I suppose you have heard about the nine murders that occurred in the past few weeks.”

“Oh, yes of course, who hasn’t? Gruesome story, really.”

Dean could swear he saw the hint of a smile on her face but chose not to comment on it yet. He and Benny had agreed that Dean would ask most of the questions but he was feeling more uncomfortable with every passing second.

“Can you tell us how you learned about them?”

“Well, it was all over the news. Huge story.” Her eyes darted to Jo who was taking notes for a second before focusing on Dean again.

“And what is it you do for a living, Miss Sands?” Dean asked, noticing the slight twitch of her hands at the name. Apparently she wasn’t happy about him choosing not to call her the name she had told him, whatever it meant.

“I own a small book store a few blocks from my home.”

That was interesting, maybe she had found the spells there. Benny had obviously thought the exact same thing and asked, “What kind of books do you sell there?”

The woman didn’t even look at him as she answered, “A lot of children’s books and YA literature as well as some school supplies since there’s a school right around the corner, but also books about art, cooking and the usual romance novels. My customers are mostly children, teenagers and their mothers.”

“What about books about magic?”

“Well, fantasy is a huge and very popular genre amongst literature so of course I have some of those.”

“I meant non-fiction books about magic, spells and the like,” Dean clarified.

Sands pretended to think about the question for a moment. “I don’t recall any books of this kind, no,” she eventually answered.

“Do you speak any foreign languages, Miss Sands?” Benny questioned.

“A little Spanish, took a class in high school. How is this relevant if I may ask?”

Ignoring her question Dean pulled two photographs out of an envelope and lay them on the table in front of her so she could take a look at them. “Do you know what those are?”

“Can I?” she asked and picked up the pictures without waiting for an answer. For a few moments she examined the photographs then set them back on the table. “Looks like spears or lances to me judging by the tips lying next to them. And there’s something smeared on them.”

“That’s blood,” Dean informed her matter-of-factly. “Have you ever seen any of those lances? Or any similar ones?”

“Me? No. Those aren’t exactly the things I use in my everyday life.”

“Are you absolutely sure you’ve never seen them before?”

She nodded, her eyes meeting Dean’s again. “Absolutely.”

The detective pulled out a few more photos, this time showing the crime scene and the bodies pinned against the tress by the exact same lances then pushed them over the table without saying a word.

Sands’s eyes widened slightly as if she were surprised but by now Dean was certain she was just feigning innocence and shock to them. He was sure she was guilty, even though he couldn’t really say why.

“Are those the murdered people from the news?”

Dean leaned forward and looked straight back at her with a cold expression. “Yes. Now, Miss Sands, tell me, if you’ve never seen those before, how come there’s your fingerprint on them?”

“What?” This time Dean’s question managed to faze her for a split second but she immediately put on her poker face again. “I have absolutely no idea. I don’t think I’ve ever touched a lance in my entire life.”

“Well, it must’ve gotten there somehow, don’t you think?” Benny commented.

“Surely that is a mistake.”

“It is not. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about the assault charges in your police record?”

She straightened her back in confidence. “That was years ago and I was only defending myself.”

“Not according to the judge.”

“That’s because he was a misogynist and didn’t see the guy’s actions as sexual assault.”

“What about the second one? You were sentenced to 250 hours of community service.”

“That was an accident,” she stated coldly.

“You accidentally burned a man’s thigh and broke his leg?” Benny looked at her incredulously.

“Yes.” Crossing her arms she stared at him defiantly. “But that’s not why I’m here, is it? Am I a suspect in those murder cases? Should I call my lawyer?”

“Do you need a lawyer?”

“Since you just told me that my fingerprint allegedly somehow showed up on a weapon involved in a killing it might be wise, I guess.”

“You are entitled to call your lawyer, Miss,” Dean said.

Sands leaned against the backrest of her chair, thought about it for a moment and eyed him again. “I don’t think I need one.”

“Alright, then let’s continue. Just to be clear, you are still saying you have never seen those lances and do not know how your print got on them?”

“Exactly.”

“Tell me, Miss Sands. This name you said earlier…”

“Abaddon.”

“Right. What is that supposed to mean?”

“Are you religious, detective?”

Dean was taken aback by that question. “Not really.”

A smile appeared on her face and she pushed a strand of hair out of her face. “I have a suggestion, detective. Quid pro quo. I know a few things I’m sure you’re interested in.”

“Like what? The reason you killed those people?”

She laughed affectedly. “What makes you think I murdered them? No, that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about a certain someone who pretty much destroyed your boyfriend’s life, Dean.”

Dean stared at her. How did she know his first name? How did she know about Cas? And how the hell did she have information on Walker?

“And why should I believe you?” he tried to ask calmly.

“Why shouldn’t you? After all you don’t have anything to lose.”

Feeling Benny’s and Jo’s eyes on him he tried to control himself. “What do you want in exchange?”

“I want you to hear me out. And your word that what I tell you will be released by the press.”

“Tell us about what?”

“Oh, you’ll see. A little patience, detective.” She smiled.

He glanced at Benny then looked back at Sands. “Given your information turns out to be useful we will listen to you.”

“Oh, they are, believe me. I heard this guy hurt your boyfriend pretty badly.”

“That was all over the news.”

“True. I also heard he didn’t get around to carve that tattoo on his back. Black wings if I’m not mistaken. How creative.”

Dean gritted his teeth, that part had never been published. “That’s not exactly going to help us find him, either.”

“Right. But actually finding him won’t be necessary, you’ll just have to pick him up.”

She couldn’t see Dean’s fists clenching under the table but she was definitely aware he could barely pull himself together and smirked lightly.

“Are you saying you know where he is?” Benny asked intently and took over, giving Dean a warning glare.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. I can even tell you the flat’s number Walker is hiding in.” A triumphant grin lit her face.

“How would you know his location?”

“I have some… friends who told me.”

“What kind of friends? And how do you know they are reliable sources?”

“Let’s just say they’re the unconventional kind and they’re definitely reliable since they practically owe me their lives.”

Benny glanced at Dean, glad he was keeping quiet and was able to control himself even though he just wanted to shake the information out of Sands. “How so?”

“I freed them.”

“So they’re criminals too? Escaped convicts?”

“I guess you could say so.” A spark of amusement lit up in her eyes.

“You do realise helping someone to escape from prison is against the law?”

“It wasn’t a human prison,” she said and shrugged nonchalantly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Let’s just say I trust them to know what they’re talking about.”

“Miss Sands, I suggest you tell us what you mean or we will have to detain you,” Benny growled.

Sighing dramatically she looked from Benny to Dean as if they were stupid, ignorant children. “Have you ever heard of Abaddon, detectives?”

“No.” Both shook their heads.

“The Bible mentions him as a place of destruction or the Angel of the Abyss who opens the gates to hell – or some kind of abyss, depends on the translation and tradition – and later throws Lucifer in there. Sometimes he’s also the king of the Abyss, the place where fallen angels are punished. In Satanism he is seen as the destroyer. Then there’s the tradition thinking of him as a demon selected by Lucifer to be a Knight of Hell. Either way he’s connected to destruction and the devil.”

“What does that have to do with your so called ‘friends’ and this case?”

Dean knew Benny was thinking the same as him. This woman had to be the killer. Everything fit perfectly – the symbols, the spells, the sacrifices and her crazy talk about Abaddon, demons and Lucifer.

“It’s real, you know. It’s all real. All those stories about demons, the devil and supernatural evil. All of that exists. And I am Abaddon.” Okay, now she was completely going nuts.

“The angel, the destructor, the bottomless pit or the Knight of Hell?” Benny just couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

“The one opening the gates to hell and freeing the demons.” The look of pride let her seem even crazier than her words.

“You know, that’s a nice story and all but that doesn’t tell us where Walker is.”

“You don’t believe me,” she snarled and glared at Benny.

“Not a single word. So, either you tell us something good or I’ll let someone bring you down to our cells to think about this for a little while you wait for another interrogation about freeing criminals.”

“Oh, you’ll see that I’m telling the truth.”

“That’ll take quite a lot of convincing, lady. Why don’t you start with giving me Walker’s location?”

Sands turned to look at Dean. “They told me how they heard him scream in agony. What’s his name again? Castiel? Like the angel. They really liked that point. And they loved his cries and whimpers.”

Benny was able to grip Dean’s arm and haul him backwards a split second before he could lunge at Sands. “Dean,” he growled a quiet warning.

“Where is he?!” Dean’s voice was dangerously low and barely composed.

“You wouldn’t believe me anyway.” She shrugged and looked around the room as if all of this didn’t concern her.

“Tell us where he is. If it checks out we’ll talk more about those demons,” Benny told her.

Eventually she looked at Dean again. “At the moment he’s in Oregon.” She named an address and watched Dean get up and leave the room.

He immediately went to look for Bobby and found him in his office. Without knocking he stormed into the room and quickly summed up the information Sands had given them.

“How sure are you that she isn’t lying and messing with you?” Bobby asked, all too aware of Dean being extremely agitated.

“Not very but it’s literally the only lead we have. And he was seen only two states over when someone called state police so we… they… someone needs to check it out!” he said impatiently.

“Alright, fine. I’m gonna make a few calls. And I don’t want you to go back into that interrogation room, do you understand me? Send Garth in.”

Knowing that arguing would be pointless Dean left with a quiet “Yes, Sir” and walked back to their office to inform Garth.

***

“Cas, I need to talk to you.”

Castiel flinched and spun around, he hadn’t noticed Dean coming home and entering the living room. Dean had gone home immediately after Bobby had told him the police in Oregon would look into the lead.

“Why? What happened? Why are you home already?”

“I called Gabriel to come over because I’ll fly to Oregon in an hour. He is going to stay with you over night if I don’t get home before tomorrow.”

Looking at him with confusion and concern Cas asked, “What is going on? You hate flying.”

“We might have a lead on Walker. Reportedly he is hiding in a town in Oregon and I’m going to be there to assist.”

“Are you allowed to do that? And isn’t that a five hour flight?” Now the panic in Castiel’s voice was unmistakable.

“Four hours, and yes, Bobby said it’s okay with him and local authorities as long as I don’t interfere and stay on the sideline. I have to do this, Cas.” He needed to do this for Cas, and for them. He just had to know it was over.

“You’ll be careful, right?” Cas finally asked in a small voice.

“Of course I will. C’mere.” Dean walked over to him and took his hands. “It’ll be okay. If this lead turns out to be correct it’ll be over soon.”

Cas nodded slowly and pulled Dean in a hug. “Just take care,” he whispered and kissed Dean softly.

“Promise.” Dean smiled at him reassuringly. “I’ll have to pack a few things. Your brother should be here any minute.”

***

When the plane finally landed in Oregon Dean swore he’d never felt this relieved in his life – except for when he’d found Cas alive, of course. As soon as the plane slowly moved over the landing strip towards the gate he checked his phone.

Six new messages, two from Benny telling him that Sands was completely nuts but most definitely their killer even though they didn’t have a confession yet, one from Cas saying he should be careful and three from Bobby, confirming that the flat was officially unoccupied but a patrol had reported movement behind a window, that someone would pick him up at the airport and that the police and SWAT team would be ready to go to the flat about forty minutes after his landing.

Since Dean only had a backpack with him he immediately hurried through the airport and to the arrivals hall where an officer was already waiting for him. Dean prayed they’d make it to the precinct in time so he could join the team and tag along.

Luckily traffic was light and the officer parked the squad car directly in front of the station half an hour later then told him the way. Dean thanked him and hurried to the small incident room that had been set up.

The policemen looked at him sceptically as he arrived.

“Detective Winchester?” one of them eventually asked.

Dean nodded and shook the older policeman’s hand. “Thank you for letting me join you.”

“I’m Sergeant Rufus Turner. Just remember that it’s not your jurisdiction so you will have to keep to the sidelines then we’ll get along just fine.”

“Yes, Sir, I understand.”

Sergeant Turner’s phone started ringing and he turned away to take the call. Dean looked around the room and noted a map of the area as well as photographs and a groundplan of the apartment building. He was just stepping closer when the sergeant announced that the SWAT team was ready to go and they’d leave too.

Dean followed the few officers, detectives and the sergeant to the cars and got in with Turner who handed him a gun – just in case and since he hadn’t been allowed to bring his own on the plane. He felt the familiar rush of adrenaline in his body but this time he was actually also getting incredibly nervous. If Walker wasn’t in the flat – and honestly, who was he to trust a crazy woman believing in demons and calling herself the angel of the abyss or whatever – they didn’t have a single lead on him again. And Cas would have to suffer severe anxiety because of that bastard even longer.

After a rather short drive the police cars parked a few blocks away from the building so they wouldn’t attract Walker’s attention. Dean watched the SWAT team head towards the apartment building and prayed Walker was in his flat and didn’t see them coming. He waited with the other policemen at the street corner and listened to the instructions given over the walkie-talkies.

When the team had taken up position Dean held his breath, waiting for them to enter the building. He watched them stepping through the front door and heard the crashing of the apartment door then unintelligible shouts crackled over the walkie-talkies.

After several seconds he suddenly heard a shot followed by a scream and everything turned even more chaotic, then a window on the first floor shattered and someone landed on the sidewalk. The person instantly leapt to his feet and turned to run. Dean didn’t even think about it, he started running too, chasing the guy. He’d immediately recognised him despite the distance.

It was Walker.


	19. Endings and a New Start

The sound of his feet hitting the asphalt thudded in Dean’s ears as he sprinted around a corner. Somewhere behind him some of the other policemen and members of the SWAT team where running after them, shouting at Walker to freeze and give up but of course he continued dashing through the streets like a maniac.

Dean was sure he was the one who had fired the gun and was still armed since he was clutching something dark.

Suddenly Walker took a sharp turn and ran over a meadow adjoining to a small forest. Dean cursed and ran even faster, slowly catching up with the ruthless killer. He couldn’t let him get away, he just couldn’t.

“Stop!” he yelled but of course Walker didn’t obey yet again.

Instead he leapt over a few bushes and disappeared between the trees. When Dean reached the woods and burst through the underbrush he frantically looked around. The dim light shimmering through the tree crowns made it hard to see anything for a moment as he ran along a small path and desperately tried to spot Walker but it was as if the earth had swallowed him up.

Dean slowed his pace down a little and drew his borrowed gun. It didn’t lie as comfortably in his hand as his own weapon but it would have to do. Glancing around when he heard more footsteps stamping over the forest floor Dean realised the policemen must have reached the forest edge.

He cursed again, now any chance to maybe hear Walker had vanished and he still couldn’t see him anywhere. Haphazardly the detective ran off the path and into the woods, the gun pointed at the ground, ready to use it any second. By now his eyes had adjusted to the twilight and as he looked around for any sign of the fugitive he suddenly spotted a few snapped off twigs on a bush a couple of yards to his right.

Immediately changing his direction Dean eyed the woods in front of him, noticing a few broken twigs and ripped off leafs on the way and followed the trail he hoped Walker had left.

The further he diverged from the path the more heavily vegetated the ground was and eventually Dean had to slow down. He crept through the underbrush, praying that he would find Walker in the twilight of the thick forest again. The occasionally snapped off twigs and small branches were a lead but he still couldn’t see him anywhere. By now he could barely hear the other policemen anymore, just occasionally there was a quiet shout from afar.

Dean had no idea how much time had passed, it felt like an eternity and the gun in his hand slipped slightly in his clammy grip. He tried to shut out the thoughts of Walker getting away and concentrated on his surroundings again, straining his ears. Was that a step or just the wind rushing through the tree tops, causing the branches to crackle?

A blow to the back of his head answered Dean’s unspoken question. Stumbling forwards he tried to catch himself but a shove to his lower back send him falling to his hands and knees, the gun slipping from his fingers. Dean instantly darted forward to grab it but a black boot hit his ribs hard and a second kick to his stomach made him roll on his side and curl up instinctively, trying to protect himself from the kicking.

“I know you,” a voice above him said. “You were with that other fag. The one that got away.”

Glancing over the ground before turning his head to look at his attacker Dean tried to reach for his gun again but Walker stepped on his hand, pressing it into the ground, and only increased the pressure when Dean started struggling to get his fingers free. When he glared up at Walker Dean noted a gun barrel pointed right at his face. 

Walker stared down at Dean coldly. “Don’t move. And don’t dare calling for help or I won’t hesitate to blow your brains out. One faggot less to contaminate this earth.”

Dean smirked at him, thinking feverishly about what to do. “Actually I’m bi. There’s a difference. Just saying.” He had to get Walker to start talking and buy himself a little more time. There was no way he could reach his own gun, not with Walker still standing on his hand and pointing a gun at him, and he couldn’t even turn on his back. He was trapped.

“You’re a sinner. An abomination. And you’ll pay for your sins. I’d love to make this slow but as you know I really don’t have the time right now so…” With that Walker cocked the gun and pointed it to Dean’s chest.

“Wait! One question. Well, two.” To hell if he couldn’t get out of this, he just had to. For Cas.

“What?” Walker snarled.

“Why Cas? And how the hell did you find him?” Since Cas had already barely left their flat back then, mostly busy with his work, and didn’t exactly run around telling everyone he was gay this was one of the questions that had never been solved.

“No time for that. But you know what?” A maniac, diabolic grin spread over Walker’s face as he leaned down a little. “You’ll burn in hell and sooner or later your lover will join you. After I finish what I’ve started.”

Knowing that this was his only chance Dean used the shift in Walker’s balance and booted the killer’s left shin as hard as he could, ignoring the agonising pain in his hand as Walker faltered for a moment and finally toppled to the ground.

Dean immediately lunged at him, his fist colliding with the killer’s jaw as he ducked away from the punch thrown at him. Walker blinked at him and fisted Dean’s hair, jerking his head back and pushing him to the ground. He pinned Dean down again, kneeling over him and started beating him up like a madman.

The gun. Where the hell was Walker’s gun?!

His forearm blocking most of the blows Dean looked around frantically. Walker must have dropped it as he fell but Dean couldn’t see it anywhere and his own one lay a couple of feet away.

A groan escaped his lips as Walker punched his in the stomach and hit him right in the face the next second, making Dean see stars for a moment. He turned his head to the side, still shielding his face with his arm – and there was the gun, partly hidden under some fallen leaves and just out of his reach.

The next punch split Dean’s lip but he didn’t care, he had to reach the weapon.

Dean let his guard down, punched the man hovering above him and tried to shove him off but Walker wouldn’t move, instead he landed another blow to the side of Dean’s head.

Sure he would be knocked out soon Dean ignored the dizzy feeling in his head and stretched for the gun, moving the tiniest bit under his attacker and finally, finally his fingertips brushed over the metal. He grabbed it, yanked his arm back and shot.

It all happened too fast and excruciatingly slow at the same time. The gun went off with an explosion, way too loud for Dean’s already ringing ears, and then he felt something drip onto his face and the force of a body slamming into him knocked the air out of his lungs.

He couldn’t move or breathe and for a moment he wasn’t sure what was going on, he felt like he was going to vomit and the world became blurred, probably because of all the blows to his head.

Dean growled quietly and tried to roll the body off him but his hands slid through something warm and slippery and he couldn’t hold on to Walker.

A few moments later he heard people crashing through the woods and finally someone moved Walker off him. Gasping for air Dean sat up and blinked, trying to focus again.

He didn’t hear the policemen’s words as he stared at Walker next to him. Crimson blood was oozing out of a wound in his chest and soaking his shirt, sightless eyes staring into the sky and a thin line of blood had seeped down his chin from the corner of his mouth. Even now the killer looked like a lunatic but one thing was for sure. 

Gordon Walker was dead.

***

“Dean!” The call made the detective look up a split second before a body bumped into him and nearly knocked him over, then strong arms wrapped around him and Dean leaned against the familiar body, biting back a groan as his sore body protested.

“Hey… What’re you doing here?” he murmured in Cas’s ear as he hugged him back. Exhausted, battered and still nauseated from the flight the feeling of Cas holding him was the best thing in the world but Dean immediately started to worry about him again.

“I had to see for myself that you’re alright. You look terrible.” Cas ghosted his fingers over Dean’s bruised face.

“I told you I’m fine. Did you get here by yourself?” Even with Walker dead Dean couldn’t quite believe Cas had had the courage to come to the precinct.

Castiel shook his head, still clinging to Dean. “Gabriel drove me.” Only then he started trembling lightly. “I was so worried about you. You could’ve died!”

“I’m okay, really. Beaten up a little but that’ll heal. And it’s over now. It’s all over.” Dean held Cas close and ran his hand over his back soothingly. “You don’t have to be scared of him anymore.”

“They said… on the news… Did you really…?” Cas stammered and looked at Dean, fear and worry still on his face.

The detective nodded lightly. “Local authorities weren’t all too happy that they’ll have to deal with Walker’s death now and there’ll be an internal investigation but that’s just a routine thing, don’t worry about it.” He cupped the back of Castiel’s neck and pressed a soft kiss to his temple. “It’ll be alright.”

Cas glanced around, realising that nearly half of Dean’s colleagues from the station were staring at them. “Uh… can you come home soon or do you have to stay here?” he asked quietly.

“I just need to check with Bobby but I think then I can go back home with you. Would you wait for me?” There was nothing Dean wanted more than just go home, be with Cas and hold him for the next couple of days but he had to see if there was anything else he had to do first. As if the past two days hadn’t been enough they’d have to wrap up the case here, too, and there were still a few more interrogations Dean wasn’t looking forward to.

“Sure. I’ll stay right here.”

“Thanks. I’ll make it quick.” Hesitantly Dean let go of Cas and headed to Bobby’s office.

***

One and a half hours later Dean and Cas were finally home, sitting on their sofa snuggled up to each other.

“I still can’t believe he’s dead…” Cas mumbled for the sixth time since they’d left the precinct.

“I promise he is. He’ll never hurt you again.”

Cas looked up at Dean. “He hurt you.”

“Yeah, well, that was the last time he ever hurt someone. And it’s not that bad, really. Doctor said I should be back to normal in a week.”

“They’re not going to charge you with murder, are they?”

Shaking his head Dean smiled reassuringly. “It was self-defence, they know that and they won’t charge me. It’ll be okay, I swear. Try not to worry about it.”

Castiel fell silent and Dean cuddled even closer as he slowly realised how tired he was after nearly two days of interrogation and paperwork in Oregon with barely any time to call Cas or talk to his superior. 

He knew that Walker’s death was a start but Cas would still have to deal with the trauma and try to come to terms with everything that had happened. If he ever could, that was. It definitely would take a lot of time to get their normal life back.

Dean was already half asleep when a thought crossed his mind.

“Hey, Cas?” he mumbled sleepily.

Shifting slightly under Dean Cas asked, “Yes?”

“What do you think about moving? A new start?”


	20. Epilogue

“Aren’t you going to join us, detective?” Josie Sands asked with a predatory smile.

Dean looked over his shoulder to the interrogation room where the woman was standing, accompanied by Garth and Jo, waiting to be interrogated yet again. “Not today, Miss Sands.”

He wasn’t even back on duty again; since the internal investigation was still in progress the detective would probably have to stay home for a couple more days.

“Important meeting with your boyfriend, huh? I bet he’s gonna love the apartment.”

How the hell did she know?

Staring at Sands Dean noticed her eyeing his face. The bruises had faded but Cas was still incredibly worried about him and didn’t want to be alone in their flat so Dean had spent most of the past week looking for a possible new home for the two of them and had been on a few showings while Cas was at Dr Tran’s. He’d found an apartment that seemed perfect, had an appointment in an hour – together with Cas – and hoped that he’d like it as much as Dean did.

“I’m not even gonna ask how you know about that. Can’t anyone keep their mouth shut in this precinct?” he muttered and turned around to leave.

“You’ll be in for a surprise, believe me,” she called after him.

Dean ignored her and headed towards the stairs.

She was still sticking to her story about killing all those people to release demons from hell or wherever but at least they had her confession now – even though her lawyer would probably plead insanity. What she couldn’t explain though was why her ‘powerful demon friends’ didn’t just free her or help her in any other way.

Still, some of the things she said, especially comments directed towards Dean with knowledge of the weirdest things, made him wonder how on earth she could possibly know about them. A few of them could probably be explained by some of his colleagues not being able to keep their mouth shut but somehow Dean didn’t really believe that.

Somehow he was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, there might be a germ of truth.

He knew how stupid and downright insane Sands sounded when she talked about those evil supernatural beings she admired so much but he couldn’t quite convince himself that she was really just completely crazy.

Anyway, there was no time to think about that. He had plans and most importantly, he had to convince Cas to leave their flat and trust him because he hadn’t told him anything about the apartment yet. Sure, his boyfriend knew that he’d planned something but Cas definitely didn’t know that involved him having to leave their flat.

***

Dean reached out to take Cas’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly as they stood next to the Impala. “I promise there’s nothing you have to be worried about. You trust me, right?”

Nodding slowly Cas looked around, taking in the neighbourhood. Something about the street seemed strangely familiar even though Cas could’ve sworn he’d never been to this part of the city.

He wasn’t really fond of Dean basically dragging him to the other end of the city without telling him why but he did trust his boyfriend so he had agreed hesitantly. “Are you going to tell me what this is about, Dean?” he asked, a hint of complaint in his voice.

“In a minute.” Dean smiled and pecked him on the cheek. “Follow me.” He crossed the street and pulled Cas towards a nice, well-kept apartment building from the 1930s or 1940s, Cas guessed, similar to the others in the street. All in all the neighbourhood seemed rather modern and Castiel would have bet most of the buildings had been built shortly after the International Style had spread in the US.

Pulling a key from his pocket he stopped in front of the door and unlocked it.

“What’s going on?” Cas asked as it slowly dawned on him.

“Just wait and see,” Dean replied, lead Cas up the stairs to the second floor and unlocked the apartment door then held it open for Cas and waited until he’d entered before he stepped inside as well. Being a cop had the benefit of the solicitor trusting him enough to give him the keys so he could show Castiel the apartment in private.

Dean watched his boyfriend as he looked around the hallway. Five doors led to the adjacent rooms, the opal glass door from the living room on the end of the hallway the only way for light to shine into the dim hall. “Take a look around,” he said and gestured at the door on the right which led into the guest bathroom.

“How many rooms does it have?” Cas asked and peeked into the small, empty room.

“A living room, kitchen, a guest bathroom, one bedroom with another bathroom and a second bedroom or office.”

Castiel couldn’t put his finger on it but somehow he had a strange feeling, something about this place reminded him of something… He just didn’t know what it was. With a deep breath he dismissed the thought and smiled at Dean. Cas would give this apartment a shot for Dean’s sake, he was sure Dean liked it, otherwise he wouldn’t have gone through all the trouble of bringing him here. “Why don’t you show me around?”

“Sure.” Smiling back Dean took Cas’s hand. “So over here we have the kitchen and the door over there leads directly into the living room…”

Dean showed him the kitchen and living room, talking about the benefits of the apartment – recently renovated, a little closer to the precinct and a huge park nearby – before leading him back through the hallway and into the bedroom.

“That’s quite big,” Cas said with a light smile, still not able to shake off the weird feeling.

With a grin Dean replied, “Wait till you see the bathroom.” He opened the door and gently pushed Castiel inside. “Isn’t it great? Steam shower and everything else you could wish for.”

Cas nodded, the apartment nearly seemed too good to be true. He was only listening with half an ear as Dean went on about how they could furnish the rooms, not able to hide his enthusiasm.

“So what’s behind the last door? An office, right?” Castiel interrupted Dean’s remarks.

“Why don’t we take a look?” the detective suggested, his smug smile causing Cas to hesitate in front of the closed door.

“Go on, open it.”

Slowly opening the door Cas glanced up at Dean before stepping into the room. Its floor-to-ceiling window revealed the backyard with its blossoming trees, the adjoining premises and the steeple of an old church in the distance.

Castiel stared out of the window, mesmerised by the view – and an almost daunting feeling of familiarity.

“I thought this could be your new studio,” Dean said quietly behind him, slightly bewildered by Castiel’s sudden silence. “Y’know, the lighting is really great and it’s enough space for all your stuff and then maybe I won’t find your brushes in the kitchen drawers or under the sofa anymore.”

When Cas still didn’t show any kind of reaction Dean gently lay his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder and stepped next to him, eyeing him intently. “Are y-“

For a brief moment Dean could have sworn there was something in Castiel’s eyes, a spark, a glint, no, more like a glow or… an unnatural, blueish shimmer of light, accentuating the colour of his eyes even more.

“Cas?” Dean whispered in astonishment.

Castiel blinked once, twice, before turning his head to look at Dean, only then remembering he wasn’t alone in the room.

“Um… Are you okay?”

Squinting around the room Cas pulled himself together and nodded. “Yes, I’m okay. I take it you like this apartment?”

Slightly taken aback by the sudden change of topic Dean shrugged, still watching Cas. “Yeah, I think it’s great. What do you say?”

“I guess it’s nice, just… Can I think about it for a while?”

“Of course, no need to rush things. We can look at other apartments too, if you like.” Dean tried to ignore the nagging thought that something was wrong, Cas was probably just overwhelmed.

Josie Sand’s words crossed his mind – but that was bullshit. After all, there was a logical explanation for everything. The shimmer had probably just been a reflection of sunlight and Cas was tired from his still nightmare-haunted nights and at times lost in thought for quite a while. Nothing unusual there.

“Let’s go back home, okay?” Dean suggested. No way he would even consider this maniac’s words to be true.

***

“Dean?” Castiel’s soft voice instantly caused Dean to look up from his laptop where he had been looking for other apartments for the past two hours.

His eyes widened slightly when he realised Cas was standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but a pair of grey pyjama pants and his dark hair was tousled and wet from his shower.

For the very first time since his abduction Cas was showing his scarred body by choice and Dean couldn’t help but stare. Only when Cas cleared his throat Dean realised he was still gaping at his boyfriend’s torso and averted his eyes and looked up to meet Cas’s.

Shaking his head slightly Dean replied, “Uh, sorry, what?”

“I’m going to bed, are you coming?” Cas asked, shifting from one foot to the other.

“Oh, yeah, sure, I’ll be there in a minute.” Dean closed the tabs as Cas turned around and headed to their bedroom.

What on earth had happened at the apartment? Cas had been acting even stranger since then and combined with his unexpected appearance Dean started to worry that it might have been too much.

Just as he was about to shut down his laptop a beep indicated a new email. Dean opened the mail and read the few words in confusion.

‘Told you there was going to be a surprise, detective. Sweet dreams’

“What the hell?” Dean murmured and looked around as if the sender might just hide somewhere in the room. It couldn’t be from Sands, she was still in custody, but who else would know about her mysterious words? And how would they know he was about to go to bed?

Good guess, that’s all, he told himself and shut down the laptop with a yawn, deciding to look into it the next morning. After setting the computer on the coffee table Dean got up, switched off the lights and went to the bedroom.

He found Cas lying on his stomach, the blanket only covering half of his body, illuminated by the warm glow of his bedside lamp. Dean’s eyes were instantly drawn to the dark tattooed wings covering Castiel’s shoulders and half of his upper arms. He crawled into bed next to his boyfriend and smiled at him.

“You alright?”

“Mhm.” Cracking an eye open Cas peeked at him and mumbled, “It was an… interesting day.”

Not sure what to say Dean just nodded slightly and scooted closer, feeling the heat radiating off Cas’s body. Dean rolled onto his side and watched Cas for a while, thinking about everything that had happened in the past few weeks. He wanted to hold him, run his fingers over his boyfriend’s skin like he’d used to but he didn’t know if Cas would shy away from him again.

“May I?” he finally asked quietly, his hand hovering over Cas’s back. He didn’t miss the wee nod of Castiel’s head and lowered his hand. His fingers gently stroked over the scars on Cas’s lower back before sliding up, fingertips tracing the black lines of the tattoo.

Cas’s whisper eventually broke the silence. “Do you think someone can start a whole new life?” 

“Yeah, I do. And I’m sure you’re gonna be okay again.” Dean leaned over and kissed Cas softly before continuing to trace the lines on Cas’s back.

This time Dean was sure the shimmer in Castiel’s eyes wasn’t a trick of the light.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, so... it looks like this series is actually finally finished. I never thought I'd actually write this much let alone finish it but here we are.  
> Thanks to everyone who read this fic, who's been following this story, had patience and commented and gave kudos, it really means so much to me!  
> And of course special thanks to Janina and as always Kelly ♥


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